Vulgarity, thy name is Cartoon Network

Ready for a look at the exciting lineup from everyone’s favorite super-de-duper cartoon channel, Cartoon Network? For starters, we have “Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls.” I kid you not. Take a look at the listings:


















Is there a problem here? You bet. Let’s see, a PG-13 rated movie with absolutely no cartoon elements whatsoever being shown on a network for kids. I remember seeing this movie in middle school years ago in the theatre and thinking it was hysterical That’s because I was within the right age range and I did find the vulgar bathroom humor quite amusing. But how in the hell have we come to the point where such a film is allowed on children’s television? It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure this one out.

First off, I tuned into the show that was on right before the movie, a new show called “My Gym Partner’s Monkey.” It’s about a boy who attends a school where everyone else is an animal, including his best friend, a spider monkey. Today was a sneak preview showing and I decided to give it a chance. Wanna know why? Because the spider monkey seems to like showing off his butt to everyone. It’s the same stupid potty humor that they’ve been selling to audiences that are far too young. I mean seriously, whatever happened to the good old days when kids television was free of this stuff?

Rude Nagging Person: Excuse me, but I think that you’re a hypocrite. You say that you liked potty humor when you were a kid, but now you’re denying other kids that privilege…
Me: Excuse mee, but I find your interruptions rather rude…
Rude Nagging Person: I don’t care. I wanna know why you’re being such a hypocrite.
Me: Ok, first off, I lied it when I was 12. This stuff is being sold to seven year olds. And I would also like to point out that I was rather inspired to do some rude behavior when I was little by this sort of thing. So naturally, upon reflection, I would say it’s not a good thing…
Rude Nagging Person: But you also like censorship, right? So what if they’ve censored the movie and made it appropriate? You think…
Me: No they can’t have censored that movie enough. And it’s still vulgar.
Rude Nagging Person: See, now you’re interrupting me. You’re still a hypocrite.
Me: Maybe if you didn’t interrupt me so much first, I wouldn’t have to. AND as a final note…
Rude Nagging Person: But you think it’s OK to show violence in kids shows! Why are you so offended by potty humor? It’s ridiculous!
Me: As long as there’s not too much violence, yes, I agree to having violence in cartoons, just so long as there’s a lesson to be learned. Now before you interrupt me again, (Rude Person tries to cut in) I WOULD LIKE to add one final note. Don’t forget that the potty humor is not the only problem I have with showing this movie on that network. It’s also non-animated, but that’s minor in comparison.
Rude Person: Oh, you think that’s such a big problem?
Me: I said minor, not big. Still, I want to go to the Cartoon Network for cartoons because that’s what’s in the network title. If I want “Ace Ventura,” I’ll go to some other channel.
Rude Person: (frustrated) Well…Ugh!
Me: You can’t argue against logic, so don’t try.

Now where was I? Oh yeah. How do we get to this point? It starts when networks start showing stuff like “Ren and Stimpy” on kids networks and the preceding generations start to agree that this sort of entertainment is suitable for younger audiences. So, it took a long time for PG-13 rated humor to get onto a kids network, but we’ve finally gotten there. Even if it’s poorly censored.

Rude Person: I still think you’re a hypocrite.
Me: Keep telling yourself that. It might come true one day.