Is Nothing Sacred?
And now it’s time for me to update with a little news on the “Wonderful World of Disney.” Not having been satisfied with their straight to video sequels, remakes of their classics and a million other things that I could list but don’t have time to, Disney has decided on the ultimate remake of all time:
Snow White And The Seven Kung Fu Monks: Disney sets movie sights on China
As well as two theme parks in the region, Disney is looking to make its presence felt in China with more traditional filmmaking ways as well. In somewhat animation related news, and seemingly putting an end to rumors of a sequel to Walt's original, The Guardian newspaper in the UK today reports that "the Wicked Queen will not know what hit her - Snow White is about to be transformed into a martial arts epic with Shaolin monks replacing the seven dwarves of the original Grimm Brothers fairytale. In a sign of the times, Disney is behind the kung fu retelling of its 1937 animated classic, which is part of an intensifying strategy to make inroads into the Chinese cinema market ahead of Hollywood rivals. Yuen Woo-ping, fight choreographer for Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, the Matrix trilogy, Kill Bill and Kung Fu Hustle, has been recruited to direct the film, which will be shot in China later this year. Tentatively titled Snow And The Seven, the story - scripted by Pulitzer prize-winning author Michael Chabon - will be set in a British concession of colonial China in the 1880s". For more on Disney's plans, read on here: [More...]
No need to write a fancy script here, folks. I got your story right here.
In this rendition of “Snow White,” Snow is an English princess on a trip to visit China whose wicked stepmother (aka The Bloody Queen of England) wants dead after looking into her imported Chinese teacup and reading the leaves, telling her that “Buddha say Snow White must hover like butterfly.” The Queen, disguised as a concubine, sneaks into a Chinese trade town and hired the first man who comes on to her to kill Snow White, but after the man leaves Snow in the woods for dead, she is found by Fatty Cho, the meditating Shaolin monk (played by Sammo Hung) who brings her to the ancient Shaolin temple, where she is revived by medicinal herbs and trained in the martial arts so she can take her revenge.
But the queen is not finished yet. Not satisfied with being rid of Snow White, The Queen looks to a Chinese Shaman who casts a spell on her, transforming her into a ninja witch. Actress Pei-pei Cheng will take over the role at this point, reprising her character of “Jade Fox” from “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon.” Then, when she invades the Shaolin Temple one night to take her revenge, she and Snow have a fantastic showdown. BUT, poor Snow White is taken town by the “Invincible Fist”/”Wonder Jinx Palm”/”Deadly chest slapping technique” and the witch gets away.
The 7 Shaolin monks, not knowing how to cure her from this injury, take her to the one man who knows… Wong Fei Hung. And since Wong Fei Hung also happens to run a militia in his hospital, the 7 Shaolin Monks and Wong Fei Hung’s army team up to take on the evil forces of the invading British army and it’s the most spectacular Kung Fu battle between the Chinese and the Brits since “Once Upon a Time in China.” And when all looks lost for the 7 Shaolin Monks, Fatty Cho accidentally kills the witch in some comical manner while searching for food. And from there on, Snow White assumes the throne and works to create a bond between the British and the Chinese that is sure to be a tremendous historical inaccuracy, but the kids will buy it anyway. Either that or Snow will abandon the throne to live in peace with the Monks. However Disney decided to bastardize their own movie.
But seriously, is this the kind of thing that we have to look forward to from a company that used to set the standards for every other company out there? Just plain homogony? I sure hope I’m wrong about this.
Snow White And The Seven Kung Fu Monks: Disney sets movie sights on China
As well as two theme parks in the region, Disney is looking to make its presence felt in China with more traditional filmmaking ways as well. In somewhat animation related news, and seemingly putting an end to rumors of a sequel to Walt's original, The Guardian newspaper in the UK today reports that "the Wicked Queen will not know what hit her - Snow White is about to be transformed into a martial arts epic with Shaolin monks replacing the seven dwarves of the original Grimm Brothers fairytale. In a sign of the times, Disney is behind the kung fu retelling of its 1937 animated classic, which is part of an intensifying strategy to make inroads into the Chinese cinema market ahead of Hollywood rivals. Yuen Woo-ping, fight choreographer for Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon, the Matrix trilogy, Kill Bill and Kung Fu Hustle, has been recruited to direct the film, which will be shot in China later this year. Tentatively titled Snow And The Seven, the story - scripted by Pulitzer prize-winning author Michael Chabon - will be set in a British concession of colonial China in the 1880s". For more on Disney's plans, read on here: [More...]
No need to write a fancy script here, folks. I got your story right here.
In this rendition of “Snow White,” Snow is an English princess on a trip to visit China whose wicked stepmother (aka The Bloody Queen of England) wants dead after looking into her imported Chinese teacup and reading the leaves, telling her that “Buddha say Snow White must hover like butterfly.” The Queen, disguised as a concubine, sneaks into a Chinese trade town and hired the first man who comes on to her to kill Snow White, but after the man leaves Snow in the woods for dead, she is found by Fatty Cho, the meditating Shaolin monk (played by Sammo Hung) who brings her to the ancient Shaolin temple, where she is revived by medicinal herbs and trained in the martial arts so she can take her revenge.
But the queen is not finished yet. Not satisfied with being rid of Snow White, The Queen looks to a Chinese Shaman who casts a spell on her, transforming her into a ninja witch. Actress Pei-pei Cheng will take over the role at this point, reprising her character of “Jade Fox” from “Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon.” Then, when she invades the Shaolin Temple one night to take her revenge, she and Snow have a fantastic showdown. BUT, poor Snow White is taken town by the “Invincible Fist”/”Wonder Jinx Palm”/”Deadly chest slapping technique” and the witch gets away.
The 7 Shaolin monks, not knowing how to cure her from this injury, take her to the one man who knows… Wong Fei Hung. And since Wong Fei Hung also happens to run a militia in his hospital, the 7 Shaolin Monks and Wong Fei Hung’s army team up to take on the evil forces of the invading British army and it’s the most spectacular Kung Fu battle between the Chinese and the Brits since “Once Upon a Time in China.” And when all looks lost for the 7 Shaolin Monks, Fatty Cho accidentally kills the witch in some comical manner while searching for food. And from there on, Snow White assumes the throne and works to create a bond between the British and the Chinese that is sure to be a tremendous historical inaccuracy, but the kids will buy it anyway. Either that or Snow will abandon the throne to live in peace with the Monks. However Disney decided to bastardize their own movie.
But seriously, is this the kind of thing that we have to look forward to from a company that used to set the standards for every other company out there? Just plain homogony? I sure hope I’m wrong about this.
posted by Jaimetud at 12:41 PM
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