Think of the Children
A while ago, I saw this really excellent Anime called “Pom Poko.” It was a cartoon about a group of raccoons who wage war against the encroaching human civilization. A nice family film with a good pro-life, pro-environmental message. As I watched it, the filmmaker inside told me that the United States needed a version of this movie. Or to be more clear, I would like to make it But you know what? I also thought that “Garfield,” the “Harry Potter” books, and “Scooby Doo” would all make good movies. Then Hollywood had to go ahead and read my mind on those ideas, not to mention they screwed up two of them big time. I also recently finished reading “Life of Pi,” and as luck would have it, there’s a movie version of that coming out too.
Considering my luck in wanting to make adaptations in film, chances are Pom Poko would be remade as a United States movie as well. After all, they love remaking Japanese horror flicks here in the U.S. Well, the good news is I’m wrong. Instead they are releasing the Japanese version in the United States. Fair enough right? I guess I should be jumping with joy that a film I liked is being released Stateside. The guys in Hollywood surely can’t screw this up, right?
Wrong. That’s where the bad news comes in. You see, part of the reason of my wanting to remake “Pom Poko” was not just to bring the story home, but to make version that family audiences in the United States could watch. Apparently the Japanese have a different idea of what can be shown in a family film and I can respect that, but do you want your kids watching an animated movie where all the male raccoon characters have testicles hanging down between their legs?
You read that right, folks. And if you don’t believe me, check out this link:
http://flowerskunk.chat.ru/pompoko/Defaul94.JPG
Yeah, they’re kinda stubby in that shot, but they vary in size and shape. You wouldn’t believe. To continue on this, I might also mention that the testicles are the centerpiece of a large percentage of the jokes in the movie. Plus, the raccoons have magical shape shifting powers which allow them to make their testicles grow to gigantic proportions so they can fight the humans by whacking them with their enormous balls. That’s not half of it, but I’ll stop there and say that since audiences in the U.S. would throw a fit over such material, then that’s also why I would remake the movie: to remove the testicles from the characters so that the kids over here can enjoy a nice, fun family film.
But now, it looks like the folks at Disney (Yeah, the almighty empire of family entertainment, Disney) is releasing this movie on DVD in the United States. Now, if I were Disney, I would probably have the testicles removed from the characters digitally and cut out the testicle jokes. These guys are gonna do the same, right? WRONG again. Click this link:
http://disney.go.com/disneyvideos/animatedfilms/studioghibli/studioghiblidvd.html
Go to the page about “Pom Poko,” click the “About Pom Poko” button. A new window should pop up with the story details. Take a good look at the picture on the page, specifically the raccoon sitting at the top of the picture with the testes hanging loose. YUP! They left the testicles in they movie. A Disney released movie with testicles in it. And it look like the movie’s getting a PG rating.
AM I THE ONLY ONE THINKING OF THE KIDS? Probably not. I’ve received word that the Disney folks changed the translation. Instead of testicles, they’re going to use the term “pouches.” Yeah, that’s right, “pouches.” Like kids aren’t going to be able to distinguish what they really are. I’ve also read that the Disney folks apparently don’t have the rights to change what they distribute from other companies. Sounds like a bunch of bull if you ask me, but if that’s the case then I’ve got a better idea: Don’t release the movie. If you can’t cut it for kids properly, then don’t bother releasing it. Let another company release it in the States with a higher rating on it, but don’t mess with the ratings system this way. Or better yet, maybe I’ll still get the chance to remake the movie one day.
Oh, and on another slightly more humorous note, it looks like they tried for some big name voice casting for the U.S. dubbing. Who’s voicing Shoukichi, the lead raccoon? According to the IMDB, it’s Jonathan Taylor Thomas. Looks like the pretty boy child star from “Home Improvement” is making his big return with the company that helped make him a star in a wacked out movie about raccoons that use their testicles to battle humans. Hmm, makes about as much sense as Macaulay Culkin making a comeback in a movie about a part organizer who brags about killing his roommate and gets in trouble for it. Oh wait, that happened too.
Considering my luck in wanting to make adaptations in film, chances are Pom Poko would be remade as a United States movie as well. After all, they love remaking Japanese horror flicks here in the U.S. Well, the good news is I’m wrong. Instead they are releasing the Japanese version in the United States. Fair enough right? I guess I should be jumping with joy that a film I liked is being released Stateside. The guys in Hollywood surely can’t screw this up, right?
Wrong. That’s where the bad news comes in. You see, part of the reason of my wanting to remake “Pom Poko” was not just to bring the story home, but to make version that family audiences in the United States could watch. Apparently the Japanese have a different idea of what can be shown in a family film and I can respect that, but do you want your kids watching an animated movie where all the male raccoon characters have testicles hanging down between their legs?
You read that right, folks. And if you don’t believe me, check out this link:
http://flowerskunk.chat.ru/pompoko/Defaul94.JPG
Yeah, they’re kinda stubby in that shot, but they vary in size and shape. You wouldn’t believe. To continue on this, I might also mention that the testicles are the centerpiece of a large percentage of the jokes in the movie. Plus, the raccoons have magical shape shifting powers which allow them to make their testicles grow to gigantic proportions so they can fight the humans by whacking them with their enormous balls. That’s not half of it, but I’ll stop there and say that since audiences in the U.S. would throw a fit over such material, then that’s also why I would remake the movie: to remove the testicles from the characters so that the kids over here can enjoy a nice, fun family film.
But now, it looks like the folks at Disney (Yeah, the almighty empire of family entertainment, Disney) is releasing this movie on DVD in the United States. Now, if I were Disney, I would probably have the testicles removed from the characters digitally and cut out the testicle jokes. These guys are gonna do the same, right? WRONG again. Click this link:
http://disney.go.com/disneyvideos/animatedfilms/studioghibli/studioghiblidvd.html
Go to the page about “Pom Poko,” click the “About Pom Poko” button. A new window should pop up with the story details. Take a good look at the picture on the page, specifically the raccoon sitting at the top of the picture with the testes hanging loose. YUP! They left the testicles in they movie. A Disney released movie with testicles in it. And it look like the movie’s getting a PG rating.
AM I THE ONLY ONE THINKING OF THE KIDS? Probably not. I’ve received word that the Disney folks changed the translation. Instead of testicles, they’re going to use the term “pouches.” Yeah, that’s right, “pouches.” Like kids aren’t going to be able to distinguish what they really are. I’ve also read that the Disney folks apparently don’t have the rights to change what they distribute from other companies. Sounds like a bunch of bull if you ask me, but if that’s the case then I’ve got a better idea: Don’t release the movie. If you can’t cut it for kids properly, then don’t bother releasing it. Let another company release it in the States with a higher rating on it, but don’t mess with the ratings system this way. Or better yet, maybe I’ll still get the chance to remake the movie one day.
Oh, and on another slightly more humorous note, it looks like they tried for some big name voice casting for the U.S. dubbing. Who’s voicing Shoukichi, the lead raccoon? According to the IMDB, it’s Jonathan Taylor Thomas. Looks like the pretty boy child star from “Home Improvement” is making his big return with the company that helped make him a star in a wacked out movie about raccoons that use their testicles to battle humans. Hmm, makes about as much sense as Macaulay Culkin making a comeback in a movie about a part organizer who brags about killing his roommate and gets in trouble for it. Oh wait, that happened too.
posted by Jaimetud at 12:46 AM
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