“Hari” Kari

Perhaps the one of the oddest cases of Hollywood lawsuits of this time, particularly due to the confusion. Warner Bros is gonna sue somebody:

NEW DELHI -- Warner Bros. has filed a lawsuit against Mumbai-based banner Mirchi Movies related to the title of its upcoming movie "Hari Puttar -- A Comedy of Terrors," which Warners feels is a tad too similar to its "Harry Potter" franchise.The case is being heard in the Bombay High Court and comes up for hearing Monday, while "Hari Puttar" is slated for a Sept. 12 release."We have recently commenced proceedings against parties involved in the production and distribution of a movie entitled 'Hari Puttar,' " London-based Warners spokeswoman Deborah Lincoln told The Hollywood Reporter. "Warner Bros. values and protects intellectual property rights. However, it is our policy not to discuss publicly the details of any ongoing litigation.”

As if nobody seeing the movie’s title for the first time wouldn’t think right off the bat that it’s a spin on Harry Potter. So what is the movie? Is it a direct rip-off or is it a spoof on Harry Potter? Guess what? It’s neither. To watch the trailer for the movie (in Hindi), click the link below and select the “Promos” link from there:

http://hariputtarthefilm.com/index.html

After watching that, I’d still say it’s a rip-off, but not to Harry Potter. In fact, it bears an awful lot of similarity to another family classic. The synopsis: a child is left behind at his house while his family goes off on vacation and ends up defending his house from two burglars who are trying to break in. Sound familiar? I’ll give you a hint:

This case opens up a series of questions. If Warner Bros. can sue over a case of name similarity to a movie that has absolutely nothing to do with Harry Potter whatsoever, then what stopped them from suing Twentieth Century Fox over the usage of the character for satire in Epic Movie. I don’t recall them changing the character’s name at all for that one. And plus, doesn’t this mean Twentieth Century Fox can sue as well, along with every other company in history that produced a cheap knock-off of Home Alone? Because trust me, there’s a quite a list there.

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An American Carol

Several weeks ago, actor Jon Voight wrote a somewhat scathing op-ed piece on Barack Obama and why he’s definitely not voting for him as president. One can only assume that he won’t be invited to any parties in Hollywood any time soon, unless that party is hosted by, say, Kelsey Grammer or Bruce Willis.

Voight also promised us that there are a lot more Hollywood Conservatives out there than people might think and that in the weeks following, we’d be hearing more from them. Could this be what he meant?



Wow. That’s my fist impression. Wow. An entire movie made to make fun of the Hard Left. I never thought I’d see the day. Whoever greenlit this movie has some serious balls if they’re not afraid of the backlash they might get in Hollywood just for making this movie.

Upon rewatching this trailer, I have a few other thoughts. The number of Hollywood Conservatives is pretty small population-wise as far as the major celebs go. When you can fit them on a list, which has actually been done before, you know you’ve got an extreme minority. But here, the major Hollywood Conservatives are stepping up, seemingly unafraid of the aforementioned backlash. I compliment their bravery.

I do have a few reserves though. The movie is being directed by David Zucker, a man responsible for such classics as The Kentucky Fried Movie, Airplane! and The Naked Gun, but most recently he’s also responsible for what I consider the death of the Scary Movie series.

Secondly, the lead character is an obvious mockup of Michael Moore, who many of my friends and family members know I went though a serious bashing phase a couple years ago in the wake of his 2003 Oscar speech. Here he is finally getting his just deserts, but there’s one problem: he’s yesterday’s news. He’s washed up. Most of the people who still care about him are his die hard fans who still delude themselves into thinking that he doesn’t lie, he just makes documentaries that have half a million inaccuracies. Unless he’s preparing for a major comeback, I see no reason to dig him up.

So why will I go see this movie when it comes out? It looks cheesy, it looks like it’s trying to buy into the same crowd that’s been going to the many lame Scary Movie knockoffs that we’ve been seeing these past couple years, so why should I go see it? The answer is simple: political reasons.

Put yourself in my shoes, going to the theater these past couple years, thoroughly enjoying movies whenever they remain purely apolitical because every once in a while I wind up going to see some movie that starts preaching Liberal, Green party, Anti-Capitalist or anything-else-the-left-can-come-up-with messages and it completely ruins my day. And when they don’t do that, they only preach to moderates. After a year of watching these movies come out, I sit back and watch the Academy Awards, enjoy myself for the most part and bite my tongue whenever the Liberal folks in Hollywood use those little statues to pat each other on the back for being Liberal. Sure, they don’t always do that, but when was the last time you saw a Conservative getting an Oscar for making a movie that promotes Conservative values? It mostly happens once in a blue moon.

The last time I can think of that Hollywood let the Left have it was Team America, but even Conservatives can agree that it just wasn’t a very good movie. It was made by Trey Parker and Matt Stone, the Libertarian creators of South Park, because that’s as close to Conservatism as Hollywood seems to want to get. That being said, I would go see An American Carol purely for political reasons. Even if it sucks, it could still be successful and we might see a rise in more Conservative filmmaking. Sure, as a filmmaker, I myself would consider avoiding political preachiness a good rule of thumb, but I’m just tired of having perfectly good movie watching experiences ruined by politics that I don’t agree with.

If we’re going to have movies preach politics, let’s make Hollywood a place where both sides can be heard, shall we?

Top Hits that are pretty strange when you think about them

As I burned up the dance floor at my sister’s wedding last night, I actually took the time to listen to what I was dancing to. A lot of songs that you’ve heard all you life, you don’t necessarily stop to think about, but when you do you wonder what the author might have been thinking when the song was written. Here’s a few that I noticed:

1. “La Bamba”




This folk song made popular by Richie Valens and performed here by Los Lobos has been mystifying listeners for decades with it’s cryptic lyrics and groovy beat. If you know every word of this song, chances are you were around back in the day when it was most popular, you grew up listening to it, you got married and subjected your children to it’s infectious beat and next thing you know, it’s played on your daughter’s wedding night. It’s that kind of song. But the question is, can you tell what it means?

First off, the title of the song directly translated from Spanish, means “The Bomb.” As this is supposed to be the name of a dance, we’d suggest keeping it in Spanish just so that it sounds more interesting. Lyrics translated in full for the first few lines actually say “In order to dance ‘The Bomb,’ you need to have a small quantity of grace.” I don’t know how or why dancing like a graceful bomb sounds groovy in Spanish, but it does. Also noteworthy is how later on in the song when the lyrics say “Yo no soy marinero, soy capitan” (I am not a sailor, I’m a captain.) Once again, sounds interesting in Spanish, not English.

And no, I don’t know why the music video above opens up with a dramatic movie scene and a shot of two planes crashing together.

2. “Wannabe” by the Spice Girls



The above video is definitely not the official music video, but I just posted it because it encapsulates the atmosphere into which this song entered the world. You either really love the song or you really hated it and if you loved it, you were deemed as being “gay” by the latter. That’s what happens though when you’re in middle school and the crowd you’re surrounded with treated Hanson with the exact same level of respect.

So what advice do these Spicy young women have to give us about being their lover? You have to give them a…zigazig-ah. Or something. I never figured out that part and neither has anyone else I know. Kinda makes you wonder if there are linguists out there that study this stuff.

3. “Mambo #5” by Lou Bega



One of the most obvious questions anyone might have about this is, whatever happened to Mambos 1-4? According to an interview I read yeas ago, there are no mambos preceding the fifth. Lou Bega just skipped to the fifth one, like Beethoven skipped to his Fifth. Well, not exactly.

The original “Mambo #5” I have no problem with. It’s groovy, it’s singing about partying with these gorgeous women and all that, but it’s the Disney version I have a problem with. After the song became a hit, Lou Bega did a version for the kiddies under the Disney image. Certain lyrics like “gin and juice” are replaced with more family friendly treats like “ice cream” and Bega sounds significantly less enthusiastic when not singing about beautiful women, but Disney characters instead. For the most part, the softening of the lyrics works for kids, but “Pluto in the sun” just doesn’t sound right no matter who you are.

Week in Review

As I look back on the week, I’d say I had a splendid time. Not everything that happened was terrific, though. I’ve been thinking about one event in particular that’s been sticking out in my mind. All week, great things were happening. My sister got married yesterday and we spent all week preparing for it. Relatives and friends alike came from out of town to stay. I jammed with my Uncle Steve on the guitar, I helped with the wedding preparations, and then some.

Thursday night, I went to dinner with my brother, his family and Steve at the Lighthouse Café in San Rafael. A band was playing the blues right outside and the older of my two nieces was spinning like a top. So who should I run into but a good friend of mine who for the purpose of this writing will remain anonymous. He was set to go see “Tropic Thunder” with some of his friends, so I decided to join him after dinner.

After leaving the family behind and having an impromptu reunion with another old friend, I followed my friend down to hang out with his buddies down on Fourth Street. While hanging out, I chatted up with some folks who seemed rather nice. Someone almost an over my head with a bicycle on purpose just to watch me jump up. He was lucky I have good reflexes.

That should have been a sign to me that things weren’t going alright, but alas, I had a movie to watch. And as the evening went on, it became more and more apparent that we weren’t going to see the movie. So instead we headed out to a place they call “The Basement,” an actual basement of someone’s parents’ house that many people like to go to as a hangout spot. I’d heard of the place before and some of the things that happen there. Drugs and booze are things I can deal with, so long as I’m not the one doing them, so I went. Big mistake.

We went into the “Basement” and found a group of social rejects who probably haven’t changed since high school. Matter of fact, it’s like they started partying back in the day and proceeded to continue throwing their lives away after that. A total stoner hangout, in short. To make matters worse, the owner of the “Basement” had a shotgun leaning up against a wall. Within the first five minutes of my being there, the owner picked up the shotgun, loaded it in five seconds with buckshot and aimed it at one of his friends just to watch the guy run out the door.

Buckshot. That’s right, buckshot. I was in the line of fire and so was my friend. And to think that this guy actually had the never to later tell me that the matter in which he treated his weapon should never be repeated. If that’s the case, then why the hell do you think it’s appropriate for you to be doing it yourself?! Buckshot can take out anything in a several foot radius. Don’t ask me, ask Dick Cheney.

I should have left then, but the movie was still a possibility. And then it wasn’t. Not having anything better to do, I stayed there, mostly on the couch, while grown men and women around me got high, drunk, talked about dirty things and exposed their privates. There was even a room full of raunchy sex toys: whips, sticks, bondage equipment and anything else they want to use.

So I sat there on the couch and I got to thinking: I’m an uncle now. I have a family and friends. My sister is getting married on Saturday. And here I am at some complete stranger’s house where everyone’s getting stoned and high while guns are around and women are flashing people. What am I doing here?

My friend does not do drugs or drink. He just hangs out with people that do, which is bizarre. A few weeks ago, he thought that I was a gun nut for making a sarcastic comment about protecting my family with guns. If that’s a gun nut, then what the hell do you call loading a shotgun and aiming it at you friends? Why do I have to be perfect/

So I asked him later why he hangs out with those people and he basically said that they were the only folks he could hang out with on Thursday nights. Frankly, I’d rather be alone on Thursday nights than go there again. And yes, I have told people about this. I’ve told my friends and family about it and we’re going to try to try and help my fiend out before he winds up as a statistic.

As for me, I’m going to enjoy life the safest way. Over the weekend, I partied at my sister’s wedding, I ate, drank and was merry, and last night I danced my heart out. I’m glad that I don’t throw my life away like so many others.

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