Flippin' Out

My uncle has sent me this wonderfully amusing little article which I’m interested in finding out how much legitimacy it has. Ever wonder where the middle finger came from? Here’s one version of the story:

HISTORY OF THE MIDDLE FINGER

Well, now......here's something I never knew before, and now that I know it, I feel compelled to send it on to my more intelligent friends in the hope that they, too, will feel edified. Isn't history more fun when you know something about it?

Before the Battle of Agincourt in 1415, the French, anticipating victory over the English, proposed to cut off the middle finger of all captured English soldiers. Without the middle finger it would be impossible to draw the renowned English longbow and therefore they would be incapable of fighting in the future. This famous English longbow was made of the native English Yew tree, and the act of drawing the longbow was known as "plucking the yew" (or "pluck yew").

Much to the bewilderment of the French, the English won a major upset and began mocking the French by waving their middle fingers at the defeated French, saying, See, we can still pluck yew!

Since 'pluck yew' is rather difficult to say, the difficult consonant cluster at the beginning has gradually changed to a labiodentals fricative F', and thus the words often used in conjunction with the one-finger-salute!

It is also because of the pheasant feathers on the arrows used with the longbow that the symbolic gesture is known as "giving the bird."

IT IS STILL AN APPROPRIATE SALUTE TO THE FRENCH TODAY!

Learn to laugh, if you will

Smoking Gun Arguments

A few days ago, my girlfriend decided she loved me so much that she sent me an article of a triple murder in New Orleans, which I can’t link to right now because I can’t even find the darn e-mail anymore. Basically, a guy in New Orleans shot three other guys dead over the weekend for looking at his girlfriend. Yeah, I know. What a messed up dude.

Being the person that I am, I had to talk about this one to whomever I could. So I mentioned it to a Whistlestop bus driver while riding into San Francisco the other day with my boss and inevitably started up an argument. According to him, that stuff ONLY happens in America and that it never happens in Europe. If you want to know how incorrect that statement is, do a news search for crimes in Europe. You’ll be surprised at what you find.

After I rebutted that point, we discussed gun laws and the like. My stance: We should be able to have guns in order to protect ourselves. His stance: we should be more like the UK system and ban gun ownership. So I asked him the question I always ask people who say this: Criminals will get their hands on guns whether or not it’s legal. That being said, why is a system where law abiding citizens aren’t allowed to have guns but criminals will somehow better than a system where law abiding citizens can protect themselves from criminals with guns? Typically, this guy answered with, “Well, yunno, it’s all politics and…” going off on a rant that totally beats around the bush instead of answering my question. My boss joined in with him saying as clear as he could that the UK system is better because they still crack down on guns. We crack down on illegal gun trade here in the United States too, so what difference does it make? Criminals still can rob stores and they don’t even need guns. They’ll use whatever they can. Swords even. Sounds crazy? Well, it happened in India.

I ask anyone reading this to answer this simple question: why is a system where law abiding citizens aren’t allowed to have guns but criminals will somehow better than a system where law abiding citizens can protect themselves from criminals with guns? No slamming, no verbal abuse, just answer my question. Thank you.

Still Alive

Since I realize that I haven’t updated in a week, I might as well update my blog with the recent details of my life. I said I went fishing last weekend, and technically, I did. We took off pretty late on Thursday of last week to go spend the night at our vacation house, then didn’t leave for the camp location until the afternoon of the next day.

Let’s clear one thing up: I do like Beaver Creek, California as a camping location. We’ve gone there for years, ever since I was little. It’s been big family parties up there for many years. But this time, there was only me, my dad and my brother up there for Father’s Day and little did we expect the area to be spray painted with “No camping” signs. Somehow, this place has become private property and we could be prosecuted if caught camping there. And considering that we’d been looking forward to this for weeks and just spent a heck of a lot of time getting up there, we went ahead and camped out there anyway.

I have decided that I will never again make the mistake of sleeping outside in the woods without a tarp. I was under three layers of blankets, on TOP of a tarp with a sleeping bag spread out underneath, but I realized that if you don’t have the tarp over you to protect from morning dew, you will wake up at 1:30 in the morning with soaked blankets and freezing to death. After that, My brother and I moved to the car where I couldn’t find the recliner for the drivers seat and spent the rest of the night trying to sleep sitting up. Needless to say, I was quite relieved after taking a nap the next day.

Saturday morning, I got up earlier to fish, but instead realized that no fish were jumping and it’s quite easy to snag a fishing fly on plants when you cast. There goes my will to fish for the rest of the weekend. But it wasn’t a total loss. My dad brought up a rifle with him that I was never aware we had with my mom’s stance on not liking guns very much, I was quite surprised we ever had it. And as of this weekend, I can brag that I shot many holes this weekend in cans and other trash we had from some 40-50 feet away. I also put a hole in a bottle cap from about 30 feet. I am a dangerous man with a gun…If I ever have to use it on someone, that is. God knows, I hope I won’t ever have to.

Among other fun little things, I got to take photos with my brother’s camera in total hi-def and even caught a lizard. But it wasn’t easy getting out of there. On Sunday morning, we discovered quickly that the car battery was dead and we had no jumper cables. Since we’re not the type to be stuck in the wilderness, we made some use of wire cutters, wires, a car adapter and a chainsaw to try and make a totally Macguyver style car-jumping. Didn’t work well. Instead we hailed a passing car and got them to help us jump. Eventually, we finally got enough juice into the battery and were out of there ASAP.

Other than the amazing car back up in front of the Richmond bridge that we sat in for some 15 minutes, there’s not much else to tell about. But since then, it’s been back to work and I’ve never been so happy about that. In a long time, at least.

Quick Revelation

As I sit here waiting for my brother to arrive so I can enjoy a weekend with him and my dad fishing at Beaver Creek, my mind goes back to a rather insulting situation I went through this morning. I heard a thirty second clip of “Where is the Love” by the Black Eyed Peas on Wal-Mart this morning and decided I’d pay 88 cents to buy it. Sounded nice, good vocals, nice message…Until I listened to the whole thing:

Overseas, yeah, we try to stop terrorism
But we still got terrorists here livin'
In the USA, the big CIA
The Bloods and The Crips and the KKK

Correct me if I’m wrong, but if the CIA were terrorists, wouldn’t these guys not be able to release this album? Or if they did, wouldn’t they be executed? That’s what terrorists do from my experience. What other B.S. do these guys have to say?:

Not respectin' each other, deny thy brother
A war is goin' on but the reason's undercover
The truth is kept secret, it's swept under the rug
If you never know truth then you never know love

Last I checked, we were at war to vanquish terrorism. Unless these guys think there’s some almighty conspiracy going on here. In any case, my revelation is this: the only song these guys made that will ever be any good is “Let’s Get It Started.” And on that note, I’m off on a fishing trip. Ciao for now.

Ripe, Rotten, Ripe

I’ve often noticed as a follower of Christ that bad things happen to good people. No kidding. I’ve always had the notion that there must be something in the bible that could answer this unsolved question. Then I happened to get this quote in an e-mail the other day:

“He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful” (John 15:2)

Clears up a lot, doesn’t it?

Craptop

A laptop is wonderful. A laptop is handy. A laptop is designed by the lord our saviour and will never cause us to sin. OK, maybe not, but that’s honestly what it looks like sometimes on the outside. But how do you explain to a mentally handicapped man that he does not really need one. I just started trying to explain it to my boss today and he seems to have the opposite attitude.

Picture this: Ever since I’ve known him, he’s needed a computer. Each computer he gets works for a while, and then he uses his incredible cerebral powers to break the thing by accident somehow. With the exception of the time he got so frustrated he threw one of his laptops and broke it. And the time he tried to open the computer and fix it himself. He’s told me he hasn’t done anything to his latest used computer, yet it blue screened on him last Saturday and it looks like we have to reinstall everything. Sounds like he did something alright.

Laptops are more expensive. Their parts are smaller and more convenient to carry places, and therefore more fragile as well as expensive. The screens break pretty easy, from my experience, in the hands of a man whose muscles are completely spastic. We have had many laptops broken like I said and even though he says he’s been easy on this one, I’ve seen him handle it pretty rough. When he has it hanging on the back of his wheelchair, where I put it actually, it has a habit of smacking into things. Or let me take that back, he has a habit of accidentally swinging it into things.

Takin’ Care of Bad Guys

It’s official: Zarqawi is enjoying his 72 Virginians in hell:

Abu Musab al-Zarqawi, the al-Qaida leader in Iraq who waged a bloody campaign of suicide bombings and beheadings, was killed overnight by F-16 jets dropping two 500-pound bombs, U.S. and Iraqi officials said Thursday. It was a long-sought victory in the war in Iraq.

Al-Zarqawi and seven aides, including spiritual adviser Sheik Abdul Rahman, were killed inside a building in a remote area 30 miles northeast of Baghdad, officials said.

U.S. military spokesman Maj. Gen. William Caldwell showed what he said was a picture of al-Zarqawi after he was killed, and a videotape of an attack in which he said F-16 fighter jets dropped two 500-pound bombs on the site.

Bravo to our boys in green. Next stop, Osama…Whenever we get him.

Where Have all the Filmmakers Gone?

For anyone who’s attentive on my blogsite, you’ll notice that I haven’t updated in about a week. This is due to a few reasons. One, I spent almost every living, breathing moment with my girlfriend last weekend…And it was great. Two, my grandmother has broken her hip and is currently residing in the worst rehab center on the planet while she reworks her muscles. In the meantime, I can’t use her house to film in and the filmmaker’s blog has been put on hold, along with the filming of “Amber.” However, this has given me ample time to work on editing the movie, so it’s not a total loss. Matter of fact, it shouldn’t be a loss at all. Three, I had a rugby game I went to see last night (USA sucks at this game, naturally), I have a graduation and party to attend today, and tomorrow I spend time with mah lady again. Oh yeah, and Saturday, I continue work because my boss’ mom has FINALLY decided to pay me the two months of work worth that she owes me and that night, I baby-sit as well. So that’s my foretold past, present and future as told by a the very non-psychic yours truly. Catch y’all later.

Filmmaker’s Blog, Day 2: Still sticky blood

Wow, today was short. So short in fact that I got to get home and make enough time to blog on this day today instead of tomorrow. Lucky me!

Filming today only took an hour and a half, but that’s what happens when you only have a few shots left and you’ve scheduled more than enough time to film with. The blood on the blouse was still stuck and still ready for filming. I didn’t need to reapply any blood or anything, just have Molly put the blouse back on and it looked fine. Before we did though, my grandfather met up with us and decided to do something I was afraid of: start discussing politics. If there’s a lesson I’ve learned about projects like these, it’s that it’s a good idea usually to avoid discussing politics with people. You may offend someone and they might now want to work anymore after that. Fortunately, Molly was not offended. Thank God.

Teardrops are like applying blood. Usually, a small bottle of Visine will work, but in this case since my actress had contacts, she had to bring her own stuff that she uses to clean her contacts and use that instead. Also, make sure you begin filming right after application. This stuff drips fast.

After filming, I got to take the cake home, but not before letting my grandmother have a piece. I feel now I should probably tell the story about the cake. Last week, I ordered a cake from Safeway and asked them to have it ready for Monday so I could film with it on Tuesday. The problem was, We had to cancel Tuesday due to my grandmother’s doctor appointment, so we didn’t go to Safeway on Monday. Big mistake.

If there’s part of Safeway policy which I find irritating, it is the idea that they have to either eat or throw away cakes that people don’t pick up. Needless to say, I was without a cake and had one afternoon to make one myself. So I used one of those Betty Crocker cake mixes and I came up with this:



All together now: “Ghastly, isn’t it?” Fortunately I have discovered that my terrible handwriting aided with only a spoon has resulted in a more spooky looking cake than any cake I would have gotten at Safeway. And so, I guess it worked after all.

Bleh, I gotta cut out of this short blog now to dump today’s footage to my hard drive. I think I’ll take a nap while my computer works on it. See y’all later. Oh, and if any actor reads this that’s between the ages of 20 and 30 and is interested in stepping in for next week on short notice, leave me a message in the comments and I’ll get back to you. Thanks.

Filmmaker’s Blog, Day 1: Sweet Canadian Mullet

Yesterday, I finally began filming a scene for “Amber,” the movie that’s taking me forever to make due to various reasons, and I promised myself that when I did, I’d turn this into a filmmaker’s blog temporarily. I mean, think of the chances here. As a reader, you get to have an inside look at what goes on in filming a zero budget Indie flick. Ok, so maybe it’s not as exciting as all that, but maybe you’ll learn a few things.

Here’s the scene: As our hero travels back in time to the ghost, he inhabits the spirit of Maggie, a young woman who’s apparently commit suicide. The era is early 1940s when World War 2 is still going strong. But what’s made her take her life so tragically? We find out during the course of the scene. How to make it all happen?

First, we reserve a good house to film at. My grandparents have a house with tons of older stuff in it. Perfect for a house from the 1940’s. Also, make sure you have the right actress for the part. Molly stepped in right when I needed her. For that, I am eternally grateful. As for the other actor in the scene, Maggie’s husband, make sure you have that actor as well. If he doesn’t call you back though before filming, make sure to call back and threaten to replace him. If that doesn’t work, start looking for a replacement. It’s a tough decision, but you have to make them in this business. I should know because that’s what I did just last night.

Another good thing is, make sure your costumes are perfect. After having paid a visit to Goodwill the day before filming, me and my folks who drove me there decided it best to go by there with her in the morning to get a good fitting costume that you can spatter with blood/corn syrup. Which brings me to my next point: make sure you have all the props you need for filming this. Corn syrup and red dye with a little purple mixed in looks very much like blood. I had no purple and had to make to with blue instead. Worked fine, except looking at it after I had to dribble it on Molly’s blouse, it looked a little too pink. Not a problem though, because I’m making the scene black and white anyway. Although looking at the scene in color, somehow it still looks more blood like than it did before on tape. Here’s what I mean:



That look like real blood to you? Good. Of course, we made a point to grab my grandmother’s hair dryer and use it to dry it off before it dripped everywhere. Note: dry corn syrup sticks like glue and is a pain in the arse if you get it on skin. Molly and I figured that out the hard way. Still though, it worked.

On to filming: Brief rehearsals before each shot are vital to the production. Sometimes you will be doing several takes, but it’s natural. Oh, and if you’re filming a ghost character and want to make them appear opaque and ghostlike, you’ll have to film each shot twice, one without the actors. That way, when you overlay the images, it will make an easy see through. Here’s a quick and dirty shot of what I’m talking about:



Ghastly, isn’t it? And it will look even more so in the final product, I assume. Can’t wait to finish filming this.

Just so you know, you need tons of patience filming. We spent from 11:00 to 5:00 or so filming this, one in a sticky blouse, the other lugging around equipment from shot to shot and constantly having to think the scene through. Filming is a drag, but it’s a good drag and well worth doing. By the end of the day, you’re burnt out and that’s a sign that you did a lot of work and need a good night’s rest.

I gotta cut this short now. I was gonna tell you all about the cake, but I’ll blog on that one later. Gotta get ready for today. Ciao.