Crackal-ascar

Right now, I’m cramming for my Political Sciences final tomorrow and will probably be chatting while writing this, so if my writing appears kooky, I apologize ahead of time. This weekend, I spent my Friday night at my grandparents’ house and I had picked up a copy of “Madagascar” on the way home at the video store. I know what I’ve said these past few months about “Madagascar” and movies like it hasn’t exactly been positive, but I knew my mom probably wanted to see it much more than I did and I was still a bit skeptical, even though I did sorta want to see it.

So we watched it. The story is easy to stomach. A zebra wants to go live in the wild, he escapes from the zoo to go there, his friends break out to save him, they all FAIL miserably, they get boxed up and shipped out on a boat that will take them to the wild to get rid of them, they get knocked off the ship and wind up in Madagascar and they befriend the lemur population. Sounds easy enough. A few problems though, and it wasn’t just in the presentation.

First off, Marty the zebra, as voiced by Chris Rock, describes how the wild is so awesome and proclaims it as “Crackalackin.” For those of you who have never heard this word before, it’s one of those “gangsta” terms that seems to be becoming popular and is just another way of saying “cool.” Ever notice, though, how it sounds a bit like “cracker lackin’.” Yeah, you see where I’m going here. It’s a racist term which means, in so many words, “it’s cool because it’s lacking whiteness.” And if you think I’m making this up check out Urban Dictionary:

4. crackalackin

Usually means "What's up?" However, it can be interpreted as "cracker lacking," lacking in the presense or essense of white people.

"We keep it crackalackin up in here."

There are 15 definitions on that website and they all get dumber as they go. Hmm, it’s cool and white lacking. Why is a word like this allowed in a family film at all? Not only does it sounds stupid, but it’s racist against white people. Would it be appropriate for me to make up the term “Niggalackin” or “Spiccalackin” and see if I could get that into a family film? Didn’t think so. But hey, I’m white. You can walk all over me because of my skin color and you won’t see any public outrage over it.

Other problems the movie had: I thought that when the animals discovered the lemur colony, the movie would be almost over and that would be it. I was wrong. That doesn’t make it a good thing though. That gives us another 30-40 minutes of strangely modeled animals, including a hippo with a nasty buttcrack. Although, I was a bit worried that Gloria the Hippo would appear in more scenes that would place focus on her buttocks for the sake of weirdness in the same vein as “Cow and Chicken,” but fortunately, the movie’s not that bad in that respect. The most we have to worry about is watching her shake it for the audience during the movie’s credits. Add that to rather high level of cheap bathroom humor, and you have a taste problem. I could go on with the problems the movie had, but my memory is fading. All in all though, it was either watching this or “The Karategaurd” (A new Tom and Jerry short cartoon that debuted on TV that same night) and I can’t shake the feeling that I would have gotten more satisfaction from 7 minutes of cartoon comic violence than

Some good points about the movie: The penguins were cute and funny. The lemurs were cool (Even if King Julian’s rendition of “I Like to Move It” blows and says to me that they don’t mind putting songs that AREN’T family quality in a family movie.) However, cuteness doesn’t exactly outweigh the weakness of plot, the seemingly cliché actions and the bad taste it left in my mouth. And on a more personal note, there’s this:

Gross
$193,136,719 (USA) (9 October 2005)

It was a huge success. And yet, I’ve heard so many people talk about how lame a movie it either was or looked like. Is it just me, or is the rule of CGI meaning a movie will do good a reality? Oh boy, it’s gonna be a long time before we see another 2D animated movie on the screen.

Also, funny story about the night after. Saturday night, I babysat for the neighbor’s kids and watched “Bambi,” which I hadn’t seen in around 15 years. I don’t like it any better than the first time I saw it, I thought it was adorable…But I also found it to be rather sexist in the second act and I think Bambi might make a terrible father. But hey, compared to “Madagascar,” it was golden.

I’m a harsh fella, ain’t I?

All Too True

This Changes Everything

A while ago, I posted this rather arrogant post about Section 113 and asked anyone who thought I was wrong to say so. Well, as fate would have it, I’m correcting myself. Declan McCullagh may not be a genius, but he’s not an idiot either. I just wish I’d seen this before. Apparently, he’s got an FAQ about that very post. So let’s take a look at it and see what went wrong:

Q: Your CNET News.com column on Monday--"Create an e-annoyance, go to jail"--referenced the text of a bill that President Bush signed last week, but I can't find the word "annoy" in it. What gives?
Figuring out exactly what Congress did takes a few minutes. But it's not too difficult.
First, go to the text of the legislation and search for Sec. 113. Note how Sec. 113. amends existing law by changing the definitions in 47 U.S.C. 223(h)(1). Before the new law took effect last Thursday, 47 U.S.C. 223 explicitly said it "does not include an interactive computer service." The changes override that for the "to annoy" section and now say it applies to the "Internet."

Here, Declan links us to a more specific link where we can find Section 113. It would have been more helpful in the first place if he’d linked us right to Section 113 in the first place, but I digress. Here, he clearly explains that the law has been amended. Check the links in his article yourself to see. Basically, it’s illegal to harass people via the internet, BUT, there’s more. If you recall from reading his last article, he it was illegal to ANNOY people on the internet. If you read this part, however, you’ll see just what kind of “annoyances” are illegal. Sending offensive pornographic material to minors and nasty stuff like that for the purpose of getting on people’s bad sides. Perhaps “harass” would have been a better use of words, eh Declan? So what else does he have to say?

Q: So what does the rewritten law now say?
The section as amended reads like this: "Whoever...utilizes any device or software that can be used to originate telecommunications or other types of communications that are transmitted, in whole or in part, by the Internet... without disclosing his identity and with intent to annoy, abuse, threaten, or harass any person...who receives the communications...shall be fined under title 18 or imprisoned not more than two years, or both."

It appears to be a case of “right intentions, wrong actions.” See, I don’t see a harasser going to jail for 2 years over this sort of thing. A few months might be good. The rest of Declan’s argument is just solidifying, but the fact that remains is this: Harass people online, pay for the consequences. Sounds pretty good if you ask me.

Duh-M-V

I’m angry right now. I am VERY angry. But I will keep very calm in this blog while I tell you why You see, I’m 21 years old, I’m about to get an AA in Liberal Arts and I don’t have a driver’s license. I’ve already taken the driver’s test once and I spent the better part of this week studying for it. I’ve been studying on and off for the entire winter break. After last time I failed, I got about 15 out of 36 questions wrong. Pretty major right? So I decided to do the best things I could. I typed up the test on my computer with all the right answers. I went onto the DMV website to download their practice tests and study them as well. Learned some new stuff that way. I’ve tested myself all week until I nailed every last question. I was sure to get it right this time. Heck, I even studied in the DMV bathroom right before the test.

Well, I failed. I can’t believe it, either. How can you fail a written driver’s test twice, though? I’m going to take some heat here because I realize that I could have also looked at the manual during my study time. But here’s something else: the practice test only constituted for about half of the questions. Ay, there’s the rub. In short, the people who are supposed to make it clear of what I’m supposed to know are not doing so. They’re giving me questions, saying that it’s what I’m going to be tested on and then they DO NOT DO SO. Instead, I am subjected to questions that I have no clue as to what the answer is.

I shouldn’t have to copy down the DMV driver’s guide word for word to study for my written test. If I’m going to be tested on something, then they need to make it clear as to what I’m going to be tested on. Don’t just tell me “Oh, here’s some of the things you’ll be tested on. We won’t tell you the rest though. You’ll have to guess that for yourself.” Honestly, if this happens again, I’m screwed and have no idea how to rectify the situation.

Game Master

Well, just last night I was fortunate enough to hear that a dear friend of mine has gotten the ULTIMATE job… for someone in their twenties who likes video games, that is. He is a video game designer for a small game company called Mind Control Software. And let me tell you that this company definitely lives up to it’s name. I had some things I was planning to do today, but let’s just say that they’re optional. So I went and checked out the company website and, sure enough, they are a fun game company. I had something to do today that was actually quite important in terms of my career future and I’d almost forgotten to do it because I was in the middle of testing one of their games. I kid you not, this is definite mind control. And since I’ve signed on as a beta tester for their upcoming titles, I get to post my review about them here.

ARRRRRR!

First off, I should tell you that up until this point, they have specialized in low budget games that are meant for bored office workers on their breaks, such as myself. They aren’t exactly Nintendo or Sega, but soon they might find themselves producing titles Next Gen consoles. Their next project is said to be a $2.5 million dollar project, so you never know.

Arrrr, matey! This be a piratey game where multiple players on one computer pillage char, enflame and ignite, drink up me hearties, yo ho with little cartoon ships with health meters over them. Steall some booty, store some booty, the whole deal. The problem is, I downloaded the game, I installed the game, I discovered there was no single player option in campaign mode, so the only “Arrrrrr!” you hear from me is in frustration. I could skirmish though with the many wonderful game options they had there like “Sinking Frenzy,” “Hunter” and “Booty Call”… I mean “Booty Ball.”

In this game, you drag the cursor around behind your ship to control the wind and move the sail. Shoot at other ships that come by, blow them up and collect their booty once they sink. Somehow, the little booty coin floats and you just go over and pick it up. I’ll buy that, though, for a video game. Entertaining for a little while, but there’s one thing I really don’t get. This game is meant for four players with four mice hooked up to the same computer. The controls are difficult enough, but can you imagine moving a mouse around with three other guys at the same desk shoving their mice around, constantly colliding into each other? Sounds to me like a real pain. I give this game a grade of “It’s alright.”

Bubble Symphony

This is the first game I played because I thought it was going to be a copy of “Bubble Symphony,” One of the many “Bubble Bobble” sequels that popped up in the arcade. Since it’s not, they may want to change the title to avoid lawsuits or confusion. I’ll have to include that in my report. In this strategy game, you are a queen bubble waging war with your bubble army on another bubble army that DOESN’T move at all but is still quite powerful. Given this sum up, a better game title might be “Sud Symphony” or “Sud Stratagy.” Or if you want to make the game sound more masculine, try “Sud DOMINATION.” Now you’re talking. On the other hand, the soundtrack, which is properly synched with the action of the game, is very pretty and orchestral and may conflict with the masculine title.

As you battle, you must make use of the power-ups that pop up on the board. A shield will repair your bubble warrior and any other that might be nearby. Doesn’t exactly make sense, but it’s very useful. An arrowhead will give your warriors five long distance shots, which is good because the only other way to attack is to get within short range and the bubbles automatically shoot plasma or something. Word to the wise: abuse this power-up. And lastly, an orange thing shaped like a molecule will grow you a new bubble. I don’t need to say it: use it.

In the least, this is a great bubble game. “Bubble Bobble” will always have a bigger place in my heart just because it has those cute little dino characters that sprout hearts at you every time you decide to continue, then continue to “bubblesize” evil robots, but this game is better than even chess, although the queen in this case doesn’t have half the abilities.

Gem River

Perhaps the most difficult game as of yet. For some reason, these beautiful emeralds are going over this waterfall and you have to stop them by selecting a bunch of them that are the same color and therefore making them disappear. Why one would want to make emeralds vanish is beyond my guess, but I’m sure there’s a reason for it, other than just being pretty. Not really, but it sure is pretty. So the idea of the game is simple, run your cursor over the emeralds to select them, select a bunch as they crash together and you got’em. The more you bag per combination, the better. Also, there the multicolored emerald, which allows you to select emeralds of one color, then continue to select emeralds of another color for larger combinations. And there’s a diamond that will freeze time temporarily so that you can select more emeralds before they fall down the PIT OF DOOM!...Or wherever they fall to. The game started out nice and simple, but After a few levels, gets very fast. There’s probably no end to this game and there’s no point trying to get to it, but it’s a good time waster. And with the soundtrack done in the same vein as “Bubble Symphony,” that helps.

Magic Word Garden

This game brings me back to the good ole days of grade school. Remember those games where you got scored on what kind of spelling abilities you had? This is one of those games and I think it will definitely be able to help little kids study their spelling. The player is given seven letters and they are to make as many different words with this letter combination as possible. You can only do words that are three letters long or more. The more you spell with one letter combination the more points you get. And the sore is nicely illustrated visually with a garden. Every time you score, you grow flowers and stuff in the garden via magically appearing rain clouds and a nearby water fountain. If you misspell words, you get rocks and bees. The game also includes a few words that are short yet beyond the spelling level of the average first or second grader that will be playing this game at school. Just don’t type any swear words in or words describing certain body parts because those definitely don’t work. Been there, done that.

Stomping Grounds

This game is the one my friend has been working on. It’s an RPG strategy game in which you control a herd of animals in Africa and must take over the Pride lands as the prophecy was foretold by a baboon that this would happen. Therefore, it MUST come true! The strategy is in what kind of herd you have and how you use them. Your herd has stronger and weaker animals, from the elephant to the gazelle. Fight battles with these characters and use them wisely in each one, otherwise they will perish for roughly two battles. Your goal is to get as much food, emblems and strong animals as you can, then whoop booty across African jungle. Upgrade your characters with food and they will become more powerful. Eventually, I worked my way up to having a vulture that was strong enough to take on a rhino. Remember though, this is only a video game. How a vulture would be good enough to kill a rhino in the real world is anyone’s guess. All in all, though, this game is quite entertaining and excellent.
And there you have it, folks. This is what we can expect from one of the next great game companies from now on. And even more. I can’t wait.

Perspectives in La-La Land

After being referred to this one by a friend who thought it was Oh-so-hysterical-I-wet-my-pants-a-dozen-times-over, I had to give it a look see. I don’t know who this Declan McCullagh is or who gave him a perspectives column, but I will say that he doesn’t strike a good first impression:

Perspective: Create an e-annoyance, go to jail

That’s what the title says. Explanation: basically, this guy is going to try and tell us that if we annoy someone over the Internet without providing out name, we can go to jail. How is this possible? Well, let’s see if his argument passes my test:

Annoying someone via the Internet is now a federal crime.

It's no joke. Last Thursday, President Bush signed into law a prohibition on posting annoying Web messages or sending annoying e-mail messages without disclosing your true identity.

In other words, it's OK to flame someone on a mailing list or in a blog as long as you do it under your real name. Thank Congress for small favors, I guess.

Well, Dec, I’ll humor you here for a minute. Let’s say that your argument is true right off the bat. Isn’t harassment already illegal? I’ve been harassed before to the extent where I could have gotten the police involved, but never did. Probably my mistake, but my point here is that this probably won’t make much of a difference.

This ridiculous prohibition, which would likely imperil much of Usenet, is buried in the so-called Violence Against Women and Department of Justice Reauthorization Act. Criminal penalties include stiff fines and two years in prison.

Sound pretty harsh right? Well, I looked at so-called Violence Against Women and Department of Justice Reauthorization Act that this so-called columnist linked to and I spent a so-called better part of half an hour searching it for what he’s talking about. I used the so-called search function to find all kinds of so-called words that would so-called fit into his argument. But when I typed in the so-called word “Internet” I found this so-called part.

Title V: Enhancing Judicial and Law Enforcement Tools to Combat Violence - (Sec. 501) - Amends the Safe Streets Act to: (1) authorize appropriations for FY2006-FY2010 for grants to combat violent crimes against women (STOP grants); (2) revise provisions specifying purposes for which grants may be used, including for underserved populations; (3) increase set aside amounts for grants to Indian tribal governments and U.S. territories and possessions; (4) prohibit grant recipients from posting information relating to protection or restraining orders or injunctions on the Internet; (5) prohibit law enforcement officers, prosecutors, or other government officials from requiring sex offense victims to submit to a polygraph examination as a condition for proceeding with an investigation or prosecution of a sex offense; and (6) eliminate the grant matching fund requirement for law enforcement agencies with fewer than 20 officers and victim services providers with an annual operating budget of less than $5 million.

Hmm, “prohibit grant recipients from posting information relating to protection or restraining orders or injunctions on the Internet.” So in so-called Laymen’s terms, this so-called Title V stops people from talking about restraining orders if they are “grant recipients,” whatever that means. Not quite a “create and e-annoyance, go to jail” kind of deal that this guy it talking about. Let’s see what else he has to say:

"The use of the word 'annoy' is particularly problematic," says Marv Johnson, legislative counsel for the American Civil Liberties Union. "What's annoying to one person may not be annoying to someone else."

Ah, so Declan has quoted that wondrous moral authority known as the ACLU for this matter. Well, Marv Johnson, I’d say “annoy” is a bit of a weak term to be using. How about we use something more proper like “harass.” Then we can get places. Now, just as a hypothetical situation, say I’d sent you a series of e-mails saying “THE ACLU SUXORS OMG YoU COMmIE LeFT-wINg TURdBUCkETs DON’T CArE AbOUt ReaL LIBeRTY AnD YOU HAtE CHrISTIaNS AnD YoU’rE AlL GOiNG tO HEll!!!” or something of that nature. Not only would I sounds like a complete idiot for doing so, but wouldn’t you get pretty angry after a while and block my e-mail? And then if I’d come to you under a different e-mail and did the same thing, wouldn’t you really want me to stop? That’s harassment right there.

To grease the rails for this idea, Sen. Arlen Specter, a Pennsylvania Republican, and the section's other sponsors slipped it into an unrelated, must-pass bill to fund the Department of Justice. The plan: to make it politically infeasible for politicians to oppose the measure.

The tactic worked. The bill cleared the House of Representatives by voice vote, and the Senate unanimously approved it Dec. 16.

It’s all the Republican’s fault that the Democrats still haven’t regained enough of the house and Senate, I’m sure. Whether or not the Democrats are competent enough has no say in the matter. At least to this guy. Let’s skip around a bit and see what else he has to say down the line.

Think about it: A woman fired by a manager who demanded sexual favors wants to blog about it without divulging her full name. An aspiring pundit hopes to set up the next Suck.com. A frustrated citizen wants to send e-mail describing corruption in local government without worrying about reprisals.

In each of those three cases, someone's probably going to be annoyed. That's enough to make the action a crime. (The Justice Department won't file charges in every case, of course, but trusting prosecutorial discretion is hardly reassuring.)

Which is why they won’t be arrested because this guy’s bill that he’s commenting on that doesn’t even seem to exist targets harrassers, NOT just plain annoyers. And you know what else? I’m actually done blogging on this subject because not only has it taken me days to get around to it thanks to my busy schedule, but because the rest of the article is just ramming this BS into the reader’s head by repeating itself. Not exactly effective, in my opinion. As of this moment, this Section 113 that makes it illegal does not seem to exist, but if anyone who reads this seems to think otherwise, I’ll be perfectly willing to accept a counter point in the comments section. Thank you very much.

De-Rewarded

I’ve spent the past few days making mincemeat out of “Sonic Heroes” and I’m proud to say that I’ve beat the first four stories. Now all I need are the seven Chaos Emeralds and I can unlock the secret level.

But enough bragging. I’ve been meaning to blog about this for a few days now. I remember years ago doing an intern job as script critique for an animated movie called “Fightin’ Feathers.” Months later, I hadn’t heard any more news from them and I e-mailed the webmaster of Prairie Pix Studios, the animation company making the movie, asking him how progress was going. Basically, he said they were still looking for funding. I can understand. Fair enough. So I headed back there just recently to see what progress was made and there was none that I could see, except for the website saying that the movie was due out in 2005. Well, it’s 2006 and the movie isn’t out. Guess it hasn’t been updated in a while.

So I decided to check out the rest of the projects the studio’s been up to and I found this:

ROGUE RODENTS:

Just when you thought that reality shows could not get any more interesting. Now we introduce the first animated reality series, where the prize is to go from a 2D character to a 3D character. But some toons take it more seriously than others.

A few points, if I may:
1. “Animated reality show” is an oxymoron due to the fact that anything animated is nowhere near reality, but I guess that’s part of the joke.
2. The first “animated reality show” was “Drawn Together,” but that show isn’t all that good, as goes for everything on Comedy Central.
3. The big reward is to go from 2D to 3D. This MUST be a joke. Most characters that were drawn in 2D in the golden days and have been rehashed in the 3D method look terrible simply due to the fact that the design doesn’t work for 3D. The resulting effect, in my opinion, can get either scary or ugly. Unless we’re talking about Popeye…











In which case, it doesn’t matter how you animate it, because he looks ugly either way.

Politics of the Dead

I remember being warned a long time ago on a website by a seemingly far left, right-wing bashing twerp that I should look out for the political parallels in the movie “Land of the Dead.” And because I like to make it a habit of listening to seemingly far left, right-wing bashing twerps (No, not really), I made a point to do so last night when I watched the UNCUT edition. I know Hollywood likes to do that with some movies that have plenty more erotic or scary material to show than what’s released in the theatres, but I got more of what I wanted in this movie: just freaky zombie action.

Let’s go for a little history lesson: George A. Romero, the film’s director, is the man who practically invented the zombie movie genre. He made “Night of the Living Dead (1968)”, and followed that up with it’s indirect sequels, “Dawn of the Dead (1978)” and “Day of the Dead (1985).” The first one scared the bejeezus out of me when I was nine years old and scarred me for many years, but I grew to like it much later on in life. When I got into college, I started watching more horror movies, the two sequels included. And you know what? They bored me. They really bored me because I wanted a zombie scare festival with plenty of chills and guts, and what I got was only some of that and the rest of the movie being a commentary on the human condition and how screwed up it can be. I actually enjoyed “Dawn of the Dead (2004)” better than the original because it focused more on the freakiness I wanted. In conclusion, when I see a zombie movie, there’d better be plenty of guts eating and the like and less morals about how capitalism is boring and humans can be just plain evil.

So as you can imagine, I approached this movie with some skepticism. I did like it though. I thought it was the best in the series since the first one. Here’s why:

The Story: The dead finally occupy most of the planet and one of the only human cities left is a New York like area where the bulk of the story takes place. Riley, the hero, is a guy who wants to escape the city with some friends and establish a mini-colony some place in Canada where there aren’t even zombies. Cholo (played by the great John Leguizamo) works for the city government with his little army of zombie killers protecting the city and “taking out the trash” for the guys upstairs. Kaufman (Played by Dennis Hopper, man!), the lead guy upstairs who created the city as a safe haven for the living, has a few skeletons in his closet and isn’t perfect. Neither are his fellow big-wigs.

Given that information, we first see how Romero turns the black and white colors that he started off with into shades of grey. It appears as though the zombies are starting to think and communicate with one another as well as act the same way they did when they were living. They are becoming more human and evolving. In many ways, they are like us, the only difference being that they like to feed on the flesh of the living. So Cholo and his boys go out on midnight runs with their tank, the “Dead Reckoning,” blasting zombies left and right. Even the ones who haven’t done anything yet, as far as we know. So these zombies, led by the biggest, blackest, nastiest looking zombie ever, go for revenge and plan an attack on the city. Now we ask ourselves, who are the real bad guys, the living or the dead? Seems to me like the living are pretty nasty too. And to top it off, the city has an amusement park used for zombie torture and humiliation. Wow, we’re so evil!

As well as the ole “human condition” thing going on, I had my senses tuned to the political whatnot as well. Can there be a comparison made between this movie and current world affairs? Vaguely. Cholo, the crazed zombie killer who likes what he does a little too much, asks Kaufman for a house and stuff because he’s been such a good boy these past few years doing Kaufman’s dirty work. But Kaufman says “No, you’ll have to be put on the waiting list.” And when Cholo doesn’t accept no for an answer, Kaufman tries to have him killed, but fails miserably. Now armed with anger and hatred, Cholo and crew take the “Dead Reckoning” and aim it’s missiles at Kaufman’s tower in the city, telling Kaufman that they want $5 million or the tower gets it (God knows where they’re going to spend that money.) Keyword, they refer to it as a TOWER. Does it by any chance have a twin?

Now for the parallel: I’m no expert historian, but I do know that the folks of the U.S. government have given Osama training in past. A LONG time ago, might I add. And we’ve discovered since then that it has been a HUGE mistake to even rub elbows with such people. And how did they pay us back in the end? They took away our twin towers, part of our Pentagon and almost our White House as well. And if you think my connection is too vague, here’s something else: Kaufman refers to Cholo and his gang as “terrorists”, and Cholo declares a “jihad” on Kaufman with some sarcasm, although he’s Latino last time I checked and not of any Middle Eastern descent. Basically, this is a representation of our government making bad guys.

There’s plenty more little connections in the film to modern day world conditions, but in short, Romero’s getting rather left-wing preachy with this movie. If you can ignore that, you’ll have a good time watching zombie guts and gore (If you’re a sick horror geek like me who’s into that, that is.) If not, ignore this movie. Oh, and if you want to know, the hero guy Riley tracks down the “Dead Reckoning,” foils Cholo’s plot and they all wind up going back to the city to ward of the invading army of the dead. And Kaufman and Cholo wind up killing each other thanks to the unwritten book of horror movie rules: If you cause conflict in a horror movie, you will die. All in all, it was a good enough movie for me.

Oh, and on another note, I’m graduating from College of Marin at the end of this Spring! Woohoo!

Flight 9/11

In the long Hollywood tradition exploiting tragedies for the sake of money, making stuff up if they don’t know what actually happened and all around screwing up, Hollywood has made yet another movie based on the tragedy that was 9/11. For those of you who aren’t completely up to speed on all the facts of 9/11 (and it was already 4-5 years ago so I can’t blame you), Flight 93 was the plane hijacked that was going to fly into the White House presumably and crashed in Pennsylvania instead when the passengers revolted and overpowered the hijackers. “Flight 93” is a movie based on that very event showing us what the passengers went through and since Hollywood is full of good and honest people, I’m sure we can get an accurate account what they went through.

WRONG. Let me elaborate: No one survived that crash. Therefore, no one was there to testify how things actually went after the fact. No one can really tell the story. All we have, or most of what we have, is a few bits and pieces of information gathered by certain relatives of the hijackers who received phone calls from them during the hijacking. Other than that, we know not of what happened. Yet the people over in Tinseltown think they can tell the story. And I don’t care if anyone making this movie comes out and says “Oh, this is just an estimate of what happened. We don’t know what really happened.” I say this because the fact remains that they’re passing this off like it’s true. They’re gonna make things look more or less heroic than they actually were, they’re gonna get things wrong left and right and probably not many people who see the movie will realize this.

See, this is the same problem I had with “The Perfect Storm.” Before that ship went down, the only contact the crew had was a radio contact with another ship that had trouble making out what they had to say. The person who wrote the book it was based on couldn’t even have known everything that happened on that ship because they were never there when it happened. And that movie came out with not so much as a disclaimer saying that the movie might be wrong about something. Chances are, neither will “Flight 93.” Add on the fact that the people making this movie will definitely be in it for the money (If they give proceedings to the afflicted families or something, chances are it won’t be much in comparison), you’ve got Hollywood whoring out the tragedy of 9/11 again. Sick. Just sick.

Ballot Blues

I just dug this old one out at Snopes.com. Apparently, there were voting irregularities in the 2004 election that I was not aware of. But were they the fault of the evil Bush Empire or were they the fault of tire-slashing hippies? Neither. It was the fault of man in his own stupidity. Here’s just one of the stories:

Yesterday a friend voted early at a polling location in Austin. She voted straight Democratic. When she did the final check, lo and behold every vote was for the Democratic candidates except that it showed she had voted for Bush/Cheney for president/vice pres. She immediately got a poll official. On her vote, it was corrected. She called the Travis County Democratic headquarters. They took all her information, and told her that she wasn't the first to report a similar incident and that they are looking into it.

Other stories mentioned on the site include voter error on the behalf of machines as well, but here we have a clear cut case of a woman accidentally filling out a ballot incorrectly. Whoahoah, say it ain’t so.

M is for Murder

“Hi, I’m Elmo. WANNA PLAY?”

A mother in Dallas is one of several parents complaining about a new interactive book for toddlers in which Sesame Street character Elmo asks "who wants to die?" according to a Local 6 News report.

Family members said 16-month-old Miranda Boll's new book, "Potty Time With Elmo," was supposed to teach an interactive lesson using voice commands.

However, when the book's buttons are pressed, it reportedly says something it is not supposed to -- "who wants to die?"

"It's a sick joke," mother Angela Bolls said. "If it's a joke then it's a bad one, you know? And it's not necessary. It's inappropriate."

Bolls said she checked another copy of the same book and found that it says something completely different; "Who wants to try to go potty?"

The company that makes the book said it has had several complaints concerning the book, according to the report.

Authorities, investigating the incident, have interviewed the cast of Sesame Street in regards to Elmo’s irrational behavior. According to Big Bird, the behavioral changes went into effect in recent years when the show saw a drastic change in style and presentation. However, police suspect that Elmo’s issuing death threats may have something to do with his hanging out with Bert, whose ties with the KKK and Osama Bin Laden have made him infamous.