If You Can Accessorize

Up until this point in time, the cell phone industry has provided it’s loyal followers with the most amazing accessories including voice recognition, crappy gaming, crappy video and photography, crappy Internet connections mostly useful for checking one’s e-mail and crappy vibrators to keep the wife busy when you’re on a business trip. What can we expect from the future of cell phone technology that we can already get better on our other home appliances? Crappy TV (Bottom of Page.)

“By 2010, about 125 million consumers will be watching TV on their cell phones, according to a new study by the research group Informa. Just entering a testing phase, only about 130,000 TV phones, which use a special chip, are expected to be sold this year, but the instruments are expected to catch on quickly as consumers discover that they'll be able to call up TV programs and music wherever they are on demand.”

I hereby put this on my list of things to love about my country: How we can come up with such creative ideas and make them happen. On the other hand, think about this one. Do you really need TV on your cell phone? I can understand wanting this sort of thing if you’re on a long trip away from home, but if you don’t travel much and you already have a TV at home, would you need this? Don’t think so, but I know a certain friend of mine is going to buy this anyway. Wait and see.

Will the real Looneys please stand up?

Months ago, I heard of a cartoon project called "Loonatics." Basically, the idea behind the cartoon is that the descendants of our beloved Looney Tunes characters are all totally badass superheroes with totally badass superpowers. Sound crazy enough for you? It did to me. What were they thinking? And what kind of super powers do you give to the descendants of the Looney Tunes? Maybe the descendant of Bugs has a slicing razor wit attack with super carrot-chomping abilities? Or Daffy’s heir has the ability to cuss and fume so much that it creates a black hole, sucking up everything? I can see the descendant of Taz having the ability to create a giant hurricane, but the real Taz didn’t need that in order to be cool, now did he? After all, that’s what they want to focus on when they create this stuff right?

For a preview of the new show, click here

Amazing, isn’t it? The characters are all, to put it plainly, evil-looking versions of the greats. I know a classic example of surefire moneymaking is repackage the old and make it new, but this looks like a joke. It looks like some age old Looney Tunes fan cooked this idea up to put on Atomfilms as a joke but it’s not.

Well, it looks like an 11-year-old whiz kid created a website in response to the screwy actions of the WB Animation department. Thomas Adams, a young man who’s still in the age group that this crap is aimed at, got pissed off enough to create a website called “Save Our Looney Tunes.” This kid thinks that the show could use an overhaul. Personally, I would have said “screw it altogether,” but since it’s too late in the game, I think I’ll have to take sides with this kid.

And then today, I saw this:

“In response to the large outcry against the futuristic show, the main characters in Loonatics have been changed by Warner Brothers. This announcement comes nearly two months after 11-year-old Thomas Adams began an online petition to "save" the Looney Tunes, which he felt had been converted into "scary" characters. Apparently Save Your Looney Tunes has made a positive effect, as Warner Bros. Entertainment spokesman Scott Rowe stated that the Loonatics have been made "softer" and "less menacing". Rowe also notes that test audiences loved Loonatics, set to debut this fall on Kids' WB!. More info on the matter can be found at The Big Cartoon Database.”

I guess diplomacy does work sometimes. Way to go, Thomas!

3D Learnin'

After the failure that was "Father of the Pride," it looks like someone in Hollywood is trying again:

http://www.animated-news.com/archives/00003369.html

"Coming Soon states that while making a guest appearance at Star Wars Celebration III, held at the Indiana Convention Center in Indianapolis, this morning, George Lucas confirmed that a computer animated Star Wars television series is on the way, in addition to a live action series. Lucas also confirmed that the Star Tours thrill ride at Disney-MGM Studios will be soon getting an overhaul."

Not many people know this, but I have a secret. I'm not really a student at a community college. I'm really the ruler of Hollywood and I'm conducting a top secret experiment in to see if 3D is really the way to go. My hypothesis: it will fail, and I'm out to prove it.

No, I'm only kidding. However, I think it's important to take this into account. Each time in the past that a Star Wars cartoon has come along, from the "Ewoks" and "Droids" cartoons of te 80s to the even more recent "Clone Wars" miniseries, it has always been a real hit with audiences. If they made a 3D series out of the Star Wars universe, they would be spending more money and could risk less revenue. Or even worse: If this turns out to be as big a budget as "Father of the Pride," which it probably won't, and audiences decide that it's not good enough, which they probably will, it could be a disaster.

Sure, I remember 3D shows of the past such as "Reboot" and "Crash Test Dummies." "Donkey Kong Country" is a show I just recently got my paws on and tat was pretty cool too. Then again, those shows weren't as expensive as "Father of the Pride." But if George Lucas wants it to be that way, why risk losing so much money? Even Star Wars can fail, you know.

Explody Toadies

http://www.abc.net.au/news/newsitems/200504/s1352292.htm

“Hundreds of toads have met an unexplained, explosive demise in Germany in recent days, it was reported on Saturday.

According to reports from animal welfare workers and veterinarians as many as a thousand of the amphibians have perished after their bodies swelled to bursting point and their entrails were propelled for up to a metre.

It is like "a science fiction film", according to Werner Smolnik of a nature protection society in the northern city of Hamburg, where the phenomenon of the exploding toad has been observed.

"You see the animals crawling on the ground, swelling and then exploding," he said.
He said the bodies of the toads expanded to three-and-a-half times their normal size.
"I have never seen such a thing," said veterinarian Otto Horst.

So bad has the death toll been that the lake in the Altona district of Hamburg has been dubbed "the pond of death".

Access to it has been sealed off and every night a biologist visits it between 2:00am and 3:00am, which appears to be peak time for batrachians to go bang.

Explanations include an unknown virus, a fungus that has infected the water, or crows, which in an echo of the Alfred Hitchcock movie The Birds, attack the toads, literally scaring them to death.“

A friend of mine on the internet had a funny thought about this story: I wonder how many people will take this as a sign for the new pope.

Chicken Big Little

So once again, we see that all the big movie companies are buying into the wonderful thing that is the CGI animated movie. With "Chicken Little" being their latest production to try and reap more money off of the computer animation craze, it still looks like a bad idea. Secretly, I've been hoping for "Chicken Little" to fail miserably, or perhaps some other upcoming, terrible-looking CGI feature like "Madagascar, just to show these companies how full of s*** they are buying into these superstitions about CGI being the only way to go. However, according to Animated-News.com, if I get my wish, it'll hurt them PRETTY bad...

http://www.animated-news.com/archives/00003337.html

Months before the film even hits theaters, print publication KidScreen Magazine confirms that Disney's CGI comedy Chicken Little will come to DVD in March 2006, as part of a second promotional push. "Disney has a lot riding on CL and it might be the benchmark that determines whether the studio's animation arm can go it alone," says the magazine. "Disney isn't leaving much to chace. Consumer Products has a raft of licenses on board targeting the three to seven set, hitting shelves in September. Disney CP is hoping that a lot of the merchandising connects with six to eleven years olds. Hasbro is betting on the appeal of its lead item, a singing plush that showcases the character's moment of triumph in the film by belting out Queen's We Are The Champions. And just as the film was created in-house, so was an upcoming video game from Buena Vista Games. CL is BVG's first cross-platform global launch, with 17 levels and bonus features that introduce characters that didn't make it into the movie. DCP has also scheduled preview events in LA and NYC for April and May figurine launches, the first time DCP has gone urban grassroots for a brand-new property. DCP intends to spice up its range around CL's March 2006 DVD rollout with new items created specifically for this second media coming".

Wow. When this fails, the Disney company is going to feel it for years to come. For those of you who own stock in Disney though, this means that now might be a good time to sell.

Blowing Your Eyes Out

3D film lovers will be glad to hear this news:

http://www.jimhillmedia.com/mb/articles/showarticle.php?ID=1383

"Maybe you saw the stories last month. About how George Lucas -- while standing in front of a room full of exhibitors at this year's ShoWest convention -- announced that he plans to re-release the original "Star Wars" (I.E. "Episode IV: A New Hope") in 2007.
Only this time around -- in order to make the film's 30th anniversary a truly special occasion -- George would have the movie reformatted so that it could then be shown in 3D.
No, this wasn't just another ploy by Uncle George to try and get us all to once again buy tickets to a movie that we've already seen dozens of times before. Lucas is the latest filmmaker to climb on the 3D bandwagon.
For more than a year now, top Hollywood helmers like Robert Zemekis, James Cameron and Robert Rodriguez have been talking this new film format up. How it delivers a one-of-a-kind movie-going experience. More importantly, how films produced in this format are virtually impossible to pirate.
Getting back to Mr. Lucas ... Just to prove that he was serious about what he'd said, George then showed the folks at ShoWest the first reel of "A New Hope." Which had already been "dimensionalized" by In-Three, an Agoura, CA.-based company that specializes in turning conventional 2D (flat) film into fully realistic 3D.Lucas then followed up his "Episode IV" preview by showing a selection of scenes from top grossing films that had originally been shot in 2D. But -- thanks to In-Three technology -- had now been successfully transformed into 3D. These clips included:
The speeder chase from "Star Wars Episode II: Attack of the Clones"
A scene from Tony Scott's "Top Gun"
And -- most interesting for Disney fans -- a sequence from "Lilo & Stitch"
"Now what was that footage from 'Lilo' doing in this demo reel?," you ask. Well, it may actually be offering us all a peek at Disney's future. A not-so-far-off time when animated classics, movies that (Thanks to the predominance of DVD & VHS. More importantly, what these home entertainment formats have done to Disney's ability to theatrically re-release back titles from its film library) we never thought we'd see on the big screen again ... COULD be coming back to the big screen."

Who wouldn't want to see bad boy films like these in 3D? I'm there. I wanna see lasers and spaceships and jedi knights flying around three feet in front of my face. And while we're at it, it's good to see how the 3D technology of today's films is becoming simple enough to do it on computer so that camera crews don't have to put up with as much and computer guys do what they were trained to do.

But then again, there IS this:

"The REALLY big screen. IMAX. IMAX 3D, to be exact.
Okay. I know. The Walt Disney Company has already tried releasing its animated films in the IMAX format. Only to get somewhat disappointing results. After, "Fantasia 2000" earned only $52 million during its large format run. Which was followed by the IMAX re-release of "Beauty & the Beast" (which only earned $25 million) & then "The Lion King" (which only earned $15 million). And let's not even talk about how the much-maligned-but-still-rather-entertaining "Treasure Planet" pulled in during its run in IMAX theaters."

Imax theatres? Oh God. Bring your aspirin, people. I kid you not. I've only been to Imax theatres twice in my entire life. See how they say that "Fantasia 200" only made 2 million? I was one of those guys who paid to see it in Imax. It wasn't 3D, but I still got a monster headache after the allotted time and the movie still wasn't as good as the first Fantasia. The reason for the headache was the tremendously oversized screen which required deer eyes in order to see everything and the sound was deafening no matter where you sat. Then when I went to "Sigfried and Roy: The Magic Box" in 3D, I gained a headache in a much shorter amount of time. I asume this was because of the 3D.

My suggestion is this: I happen to know that the glasses for viewing these bad boys are very lightweight and don't required much headwork like their predecessors did. Why not take this technology and release movies that require it in smaller theatres as well? That way, Jaime can enjoy his kick-ass Star Wars 3D movies without the side effect of our good pal, Mr. Migraine.

Terry Schiavo

It’s been a while since I updated this blog, so I decided a short essay might be appropriate. This issue is already dead and so is the individual whom it concerns, but I thought I’d give my shout out to it anyway. As you all know, Terry Schiavo died last week of ordered starvation. When I first heard about the case, it was two weeks ago. My boss tried to explain her situation to me and why he believed that Terry should be kept alive. I was told that she was smiling, that she was brain dead, that she couldn’t talk and that her brain stopped receiving the simplest signals years ago. For 15 years, she had been on life support and showed no sign of improvement. Or so I was told.

My boss knows what it’s like to be brain dead. He was brain dead and in a come for three months when he was only a year old, but he managed to improve. It was considering this that he believed she should be kept alive. But I thought that if she was brain dead, then she would want to be dead after 15 years of not getting any better. I thought that perhaps it was best that she die because there was nothing there. And I stood by that…until I was told the whole story.

The following Easter, my uncle talked to me about the Terry Schiavo case. First off, she was not brain dead. She reacted to people in her room and looked all around. She even made noise as if she was trying to say something. Secondly, several doctors had testified that she could be rehabilitated. Several more than those that said she could not be cured. And lastly, her husband had been a very fishy character. He beat her so bad that it was part of how she wound up in the hospital. He refused to let them CAT scan her brain to see if there was anything fixable. He was given 1.5 million dollars seven years ago to pay for taking care of her, then two months later “remembered” her saying that she did not want to live as a vegetable. Since then, he has taken every measure possible to take her off life support. Given all this information, I said that maybe she should be kept alive.

But it was too late. The order had been given to remove Terry’s feeding tube and let her starve to death for the next week. The politics that erupted were incredible. President Bush went to Congress to sign a bill to help ensure that all the facts are taken into account before the command to remove someone’s life support is given. I assume this means certain facts like how she had a possibility of being cured and that her husband was a creep who should not have been given the ability to remove her feeding tube. But even though the bill had been signed, they could not reinstate the feeding tube because all such actions are final.

This case is a case of judicial murder. It opened up a can of worms for everyone and events were put into motion over this one woman that were monumental at least in my mind. Lee at right-thinking.com said a lot of nasty things about Republicans that made me think I should stop listening to him. I haven’t, but I thought about it. The Democrats were all over it too. A poll said that 95% of Democrats wanted Terry dead and 95% of Republicans wanted her alive. I’ve gotten the argument that asks “How can you support a war that has killed thousands of people but want this one invalid woman to live?” There are so many holes in that argument, it looks like Swiss cheese, but to anyone who says that, I have a question for them. How can you be against a war which you think has only been good for killing people but want an invalid woman to die? If I’m being a hypocrite for being a Republican who believes in the war in Iraq and wanting Terry to live, then any Democrat who calls me a hypocrite is a hypocrite themselves. So don’t pin your damn crimes on me.

Only time will tell how history sees this little event. For now though, most Democrats will probably continue aligning themselves with the crazies of their group so long as it goes against Bush.