Babies on Shelves

According to Jim Hill Media, we can see some more of the worst baby toy ideas ever coming out in the next year or so:

The way I understand it, it's the late Jim Henson that we really should blame for this toon baby thing.

By that I mean: Henson's the guy who basically invented this genre back in 1984, when he introduced the Muppet Babies in "The Muppets Take Manhattan" (FYI: Don't confuse the Muppet Babies with Sesame Workshop's newest product line, "Sesame Beginnings").

Part of what I like about this article is how it starts out telling the whole history of the “Babies” phenomenon, or to be more precise, the “repackaging in juvenile form” for older franchises. I remember wanting to write such an article myself a long time ago, so I rather agree with this guy.

And when the "Muppets Babies" proved to be a popular (more importantly, profitable) addition to the Muppet franchise ... Well, the Mouse decided that it wanted in on the fun too. Which is why -- in the late 1980s -- the Walt Disney Company launched its "Disney Babies" product line.

Heh. I wonder whatever happened to my Baby Mickey. It’s probably worth a lot on Ebay.

And given all of the money that Henson & Disney were making off of their "Muppet Babies" & "Disney Babies" lines, it was only a matter of time before Warner Bros. made a move on this same market. First by launching "Tiny Toons Adventures " (left) in 1990, and then -- in 2002 -- by following that effort up with the "Baby Looney Tunes" line.

Mmhmm. So what’s the point of all this, you ask? Let’s see what the next generation of Babified products is…Skipping ahead in the article a bit…Oh God…

Check out the latest incarnation of Moe, Larry & Curly below. That's right. The Baby Stooges. Reportedly coming to a crib near you in 2008.

Oh I just gotta poke fun at this. Little know fact about the “Three Stooges.” As babies, Moe developed his scowl from lack of nursing. The frustration he got from crying stuck on his face the rest of his life. He also discovered their famous eye-poke from that little toy bear he’s holding, which was designed to make a whining noise when poked in the eyes. He found more pleasure though in doing it to his brother Curly later in life.

And speaking of cribs ... Remember how the "Bratz" product line began seriously cutting in on "Barbie" 's retail turf a few years back by bringing a streetwise sensibility to the doll aisle? Well, MGA Entertainment Inc. is no longer content with owning the 8-year-old girl market. They're now looking to lay claim to the 3-year-olds too by launching a "Bratz Babyz" product line. Which officially debuts next month with the release of that Fox Home Entertainment premiere, "Bratz Babyz: The Movie."

Bratz babies accessories sold separately include rattles with total bling blings and Catchy talking phrases like, “Baby girl, I want my bottle.” My girlfriend and I had total fun with this idea the other day. What if they had a complete line of Pop Star babies like Baby Britney Spears or Baby Christina Aguilera. Think of the possibilities…Ashlee Simpson, Jessica Simpson, Avril Lavigne, all singing baby versions of their famous hits like “Spank Me Mommy One More Time” and “It’s A Damn Cold Night Without My Blankie.”

Seriously though, the Bratz just rub me the wrong way no matter what.

And MGA isn't the only production company that hopes that a young, urban, hip feel will help lure viewers to their new animated project. Check out what Wayan Bros. Entertainment just produced: "Thugaboo." Reportedly based on adventures that Shawn, Marlon & Keenan Ivory Wayans had while growing up in the inner city, the first installment of this series -- "Sneaker Madness" -- premiered on the Nicktoons Network earlier this month. While a DVD version of "Thugaboo" 's debut just went on sale yesterday.

Ok, so this isn’t exactly a Baby line, but I should mention that the title “Thug-a-Boo” conjures up an image in my mind of Babies in hip-hop ghetto outfits, cursing at each other and robbing people passing by. Judging by the website, it looks like I’m not that far off.

I'm not sure if the world is actually ready for a show that reportedly plays like a combination of Fat Albert, Charlie Brown and "Family Guy." But -- like it or not -- "Thugaboo" is here. With a soundtrack CD already up for sale over on the official "Thugaboo" website as well as a new Christmas-themed episode due to hit the Nicktoons Network sometime after Thanksgiving.

And speaking of things that the world is probably not ready for ... I give you the Marvel Babies!

(Insert Picture of Marvel Babies here)

Before you ask: No, this is not fan art or some "Saturday Night Live" spoof. This kiddie-fied set of classic comic book characters is actually Marvel's latest attempt to expand its audience. Evidently, the battle plan here is (literally) to "get 'em while they're young." Have future comic book buyers bond with these characters when they're just infants. With the hope that these kids will still be fans once they're actually old enough to read (More importantly, buy) comic books.

Well, I don't know about you folks. But there isn't enough money in the world to ever get me to change the Baby Hulk's diaper.

In a world where superhero back stories are completely non-canon to their real stories, these adorable super babies also discovered their powers while young, or so it would appear. Instead of his ABC’s, Captain America’s mother had him learn the Pledge of Allegiance backwards and forwards. Rumor has it, he discovered his Shield-Throwing abilities one fateful evening when he accidentally decapitated his babysitter with a toy Frisbee. Baby Wolverine discovered his metal claws and healing powers one day when he was picking his nose and accidentally activated his claws, slicing up his face but healing instantly afterward. His mother never found out. Baby Doc Ock became a nuisance when no one could find him a proper diaper to suit the needs of his extra appendages. Years later, fans would wonder why he turned out evil. His arch-hero, Baby Spidey, practiced his webslinging abilities to construct a crib completely out of spider web after his first one had been smashed by a runaway toy train. And lastly, Baby Hulk got angry very easy whenever he was hungry and became extra difficult to feed. Baby chairs and table legs were known to be demolished by the end of every evening meal.

Now you have to ask yourself: If I can make this much fun of certain franchises, then are they really a good idea? I don’t think so.

Miracles are Happening in Animation

Ready for some news so cheeky, it makes me feel childish to blog about it? Well, I just heard about this little studio over on Animated-News.com a few days ago called Miracle Studios. It’s an independent animation studio with the following mission statement:

Tom Hignite’s Miracle Studios is dedicated to continuing the art of storytelling through hand drawn, traditional 2-D animation . We respect the classic animators of the past and their contributions to our general quality of life. It is our humble goal and fervent passion to pay homage to those artists and stories by attempting to follow in their footsteps. Miracle Studios is a special place where some of the best talent in the industry can enjoy a “safe place” to flourish, grow, and contribute to their art. It is our hope to create the next great classic stories, with an uncompromising level of quality, for many generations to come.

Yeah, it looks like the guys at these studios know their stuff. Many of them used to work for Disney and Warner Bros. and they’re all middle aged or older, but they know the classic Disney style, the style that Disney hardly uses anymore, except for some of their TV stuff. I’d say though that Disney got rid of some of their best talent when they fired these guys. Anyhow, they’re working on an exciting new film project entitled “The Many Adventures of Miracle Mouse,” their first big production.

For anyone who hasn’t seen ads for Miracle Homes, and that constitutes a great many of us probably, Miracle Mouse is Miracle Studios’ mascot. Imagine Mickey Mouse in a yellow hard hat, and suspenders with a much smaller face and ears that stick out perpendicular to his head. You get the idea. Just check out the site, and you’ll get what I mean.

So, for the project, they need financial backers and all that. No kidding. Check out the demo reel on their website and you’ll see these guys have got serious skill. And as we all know, serious skill needs serious money to get going. So what are y’all waiting for? Go to their store and buy some of their merchandise. If you’ve got kids, they ought to love the plushies and the storybooks. Me though, I’m kinda interested in their music CD, but I don’t see a deal for that that comes without the activity book. Blast. Anyway, you know the Schpiel. Give’em your money so they can crank out a good ole homegrown animated movie. Support Capitalism, people!

Filmmaker’s Blog Day 3: Actor Heinz Ketchup

Alright, so I’m a few days overdue with the Filmmaker’s blog. Filming for Maggie’s Scene in “Amber: Journey’s Beyond” has finally wrapped as of Tuesday. Brian McDaniels, the actor who stepped in for the role of Johnny, was a good replacement and a fun guy to work with. He’s not really an actor, but he has a lot of interest and enthusiasm in this project, especially considering the subject matter of ghosts in the film. During breaks and whatnot, we got to discussing theology and religion. Interesting stuff.

Filming was scheduled to start at 10:00-10:30 at my house. Brian was going to drive over to my house and suit up. We’d shoot our stuff there, then head on over to the other house to finish filming there as well (Two houses are being used in this production.) Filming was then scheduled to halt at 3:30 when Molly had an appointment. Brian would drive me back to my house and we’d do some voiceover work there, then I’d be done with him. After dinner that night, Molly would come over again to dub one shot over vocally and do a single shot alone at my house at night.

What wound up happening: Brian’s car was in the shop, so he wound up taking the bus over and I walked him back to my house. Molly arrived not just with her costume, but with a costume idea for Brian as well: A WWII soldier uniform. Gotta thank her little brother for that one. As for her costume, we’d decided to keep the blood on it from before and just hang it up in a bag in her closet. What we didn’t anticipate was the corn syrup and blood turning pink and just staining the shirt. I raced around the house looking for the Corn syrup fake blood that I’d made just a few months ago, but couldn’t find it anywhere. So we used a pretty interesting combination of things in the kitchen to stand in: Ketchup and red wine. It seemed to work fine, but I’m keeping my fingers crossed to see how good it looks in post.

We wrapped up filming at my house quite early with a time surplus of 30 or so minutes. I always wind up scheduling more time to film than is truly necessary so I can make sure it gets done. Stopped by the Town Center for lunch on the way to our second location. And amazingly enough, we would up finishing our filming at 2:50, way ahead of schedule once again. I am officially no longer under the impression that this production is cursed: It’s just hell to go through, but well worth it. And since Brian could no longer drive around freestyle to my house and back to his, we did the necessary voiceovers right there on the video camera as well as get a perfect portrait of him for one particular shot. As for the night work, Molly came over, recorded her stuff and left, easy as pie. We even had extra time to mess around.

Well, I guess for now, this is it for production. I’ll be spending the next however many months it takes to do the rest of the work on the computer, but until then, adios and ciao for now.

Breaking News

I’ve taken this quick break in my homework for a few things I should probably mention on my blog:

1. Considering that I haven’t updated my blog since I came home from Jamestown a week ago, I should probably let you all know that I had a great time and I’ll probably be bringing my girlfriend up next time…I hope big time.
2. School has started for me, which probably explains that little bit about homework, and I have three film classes, none of which are being taught by the jerk I had last semester (Hooray). And this teacher I do have has a sense of humor, so that I consider a bonus.
3. Tomorrow, if all goes well, I will be polishing off the filming for “Maggie’s Scene” in Amber. And so, the Filmmaker’s blog shall resume once again! Exciting, eh?

Potty Gold

“I want a toilet made out of solid gold, but it’s just not in the cards now is it?”
- Austin Powers

Well, now it is:

You’ll have to go to hong Kong to find this toilet cast of solid gold and encrusted with gems. It’s valued at $4.8 million

Don’t you just love how imagination works? I think this idea goes in the products-you’ll-never-really-need category. And on that note, I’m taking off for a four day vacation. Seeya later.

One Incredibly Long Article On 3D Animation

In the same vein of 2D versus 3D animation, I’d like to make note that I along with many others predicted a long time ago that the abundance of 3D animation only a phase. The big companies would eventually realize one day that 3D animation wasn’t a surefire way to make money and that it’s more in the story and presentation that counts.And it looks like we were right:

For the feature animation business, it's possible that more could be less.

In 2004, the average box office for an animated pic was $149 million. This year, it's $88 million. But then, there are 50% more toons in release this year than in '04. Three toons have bowed in the past three weeks: Sony's "Monster House," Warner Bros.' "Ant Bully" and Paramount's "Barnyard."

Throughout this article, I’m going to be making my own little comments on each of these films as they’re mentioned by mentioning the title and typing up my 2 cents in parenthesis in following. For example, “Monster House” (The girlfriend said it was cool), “Ant Bully” (Looks like a rental) and “Barnyard (Suckfest.) There, you get the idea. Now, on with the article:

The bullish spirit of several years ago, when all these projects began production, has given way to introspection: How much is too much?

CGI-animated pics once were seen as the safe, flop-proof arm of the biz, but the 2006 box office is upending that optimistic view. Before this year, the only CGI failure ever was last summer's "Valiant," but this year has already seen three: "Doogal," "The Wild" and "The Ant Bully." One or two more are likely before the year is out.

In my opinion, it’s not just the abundance of these kinds of movies that’s hurting the industry, but it’s also lack of good story and presentation that make movies like “Valiant” (Was cute, but McGregor can do better) “Doogal” (replacing British voices with an American cast, doesn’t stop the movie from being crap) and “The Wild” (“Madagascar” + “The Lion King” + “Finding Nemo” = lacking originality) fall on their bottoms in the theatres.

The news is not entirely glum: Animation box office is on track to beat the $1.2 billion record set in 2004.

But that record year was largely due to just two movies, "Shrek 2" and "The Incredibles," which together grossed $702 million. This year, the only unqualified hit is "Ice Age: the Meltdown," with a solid $195 million at home and an astounding $461 million overseas.
The Weinstein Co.'s "Hoodwinked" nabbed $51 million, making it a success considering its tiny budget.

I’m gonna break the mold here for a sec.
Shrek 2: Better than the original.
The Incredibles: Surprisingly better than I’d anticipated.
Ice Age 2: The Meltdown: Looks like a rental
Hoodwinked: Why, Anne Hathaway, why?!

What we can learn from this is that good movies will make good profits. Meanwhile, stupid looking movies will do the same so long as they have a cheap enough budget.

Otherwise, the picture is less jubilant for the seven other toons released to date (six of them CG).

"Cars" purred to an animated $235 million in domestic B.O. But pic is Pixar's lowest grosser since "A Bug's Life" in 1998. Disney had pushed back the original November release date to summer, emulating the release pattern of its top pic, "Finding Nemo," which had a domestic cume of $339 million. But "Cars" ended up doing worse than "The Incredibles" and "Monsters, Inc.," the animation studio's last two November openers.

Similarly, "Over the Hedge," while certainly not a flop with $152 million, is DreamWorks Animation's second lowest-grossing CGI pic and its lowest-ever summer CGI release.

Now we’re seeing an interesting effect here. Pixar, the company that created the 3D animated movie genre, is starting to suffer ever so slightly from it as their profits are still high, yet not so high as they once were. But I guess that’s because when movies like “Cars” (Exceeded expectations quite handsomely) roll along in their company, it’s just another movie that doesn’t do quite as well and doesn’t really hurt. Meanwhile, Dreamworks, the company that decided it was a good idea to flood us with 3D animation in the first place, is seeing the same with “Over the Hedge” (Looks good, can’ wait to see it.)

The industry has been through this kind of cycle before. After Disney toons like "The Lion King" started making big bucks in the early '90s, both Fox and Warner Bros. entered the market, only to pull back after costly flops like "Titan A.E." and "The Iron Giant." The one animation newbie of the '90s who stuck with it was DreamWorks, led by former Mouse House animation topper Jeffrey Katzenberg.

I hadn’t realized before that “The Lion King” (A classic, indisputably) had that sort of effect on Hollywood, but I remember when both “Titan A. E.” (Excellent, bold move by Don Bluth) and “The Iron Giant” (Deserving of flopping) kicked the bucket. Of course this concept is what led folks like Michael Eisner and the Dreamworks execs think that 3D was the second coming of Christ.

Tightly bunched release dates certainly have played a part in the downward trend. "The Wild" came out just two weeks after "Ice Age," while "Over the Hedge" and "Cars" were three weeks apart.

Well, yunno, maybe “The Wild” flopped due to sucking. You never know.

By contrast, last year "Robots," "Madagascar" and "Chicken Little" all had a two-month buffer on either side with no CG toons.

And on a side note, I still think “Robots” (Was ok), “Madagascar” (See my review) and “Chicken Little” (abysmal despite the profits) were what made last year’s animated movie experience less than enjoyable for me.

"You don't have the luxury of just grabbing those key beginning-of-summer or traditional Disney November release dates," notes Sony Pictures Animation exec VP Penney Finkelman Cox.

Next year won't offer much relief. While the number of toons will decline somewhat, there are still numerous key releases bunched closely together. WB's "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles" and Disney's "Meet the Robinsons" currently are skedded for the same day in March. Pixar's "Ratatouille," Sony's "Surf's Up" and DWA's "Shrek the Third" all come out in a six-week span during the summer.

I will agree that releasing these movies closely together is not such a good move, which is why next March, “Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles” (Looks badass) and “Meet the Robinsons” (Looks amusing) had best find different release dates. As for “Ratatouille” (So far, I’m totally there) “Surf’s Up” (sounds radical) and “Shrek the Third” (My fingers are crossed till I see something on it), that bunch had best watch it as well.

The real challenge may not just be getting auds to go to a CGI toon when there are others already in theaters. It's making each one stand out in people's minds, especially when so many of them feature wisecracking talking animals.

"I don't know that it's so much the medium as whether you have something truly compelling that can stand out from a pack of films that, by and large, look the same," observes one distribution exec.

The fall brings similar challenges for the industry, as "Everyone's Hero" and "Open Season" open two weeks apart in September and "Happy Feet" hits theaters two weeks after "Flushed Away" in November.

Wow, it looks like the industry keeps making the same mistake over and over again releasing “Everyone’s Hero” (Christopher Reeve’s swan song is looking alright) and “Open Season” (Doesn’t fit the bill) so close together. And then again with “Happy Feet” (Been looking forward to it for years) and “Flushed Away” (Aardman usually does great.) Shouldn’t someone in Hollywood have already taken note of this yet?

IDT's "Hero" (which Fox is distributing) and Sony Pictures Animation's "Season" represent the first foray for those studios into the CG space, while "Happy Feet" is only the second for Warner, after the disappointing "Ant Bully." All three are important for studios hoping they can compete in animation.

And with its stock currently hovering near an all-time low, DreamWorks Animation is hoping "Flushed Away" will exceed expectations, rather than prove a mild disappointment like its last two releases "Hedge" and "Wallace and Gromit in The Curse of the Were-Rabbit."

Summer is, of course, the prime playing time for animated family pics, as kids are out of school. For the $100 million-plus "Open Season" and "Flushed," coming out of the fray with more than $150 million will have to be considered a success, while the less expensive "Happy Feet" and "Hero" have a more modest bar to pass.

In addition, three of the four include talking animals -- "Everyone's Hero" has a talking baseball bat and ball -- meaning execs face the same challenges.

Just a year ago, overseeing animation seemed like one of the most comfortable places for a Hollywood exec to be sitting. But 2006 is proving that toons take just as much intestinal fortitude as the rest of the biz.

In short, a good movie with good appeal is what really will make money. Riding on the coattails of another movie only works so much.

Opus Sesame

Take a look at this Opus comic from only a short while ago:














In a nutshell, Opus the penguin has seen a computer generated version of himself and basically dissed it because of it’s over-perfection. Meanwhile, the CGI Opus, which is really just another hand drawing with an emphasis on nice shading and a purple bowler hat, notes with a snobby attitude that the real Opus is not “perfect” like him. Opus brings up an interesting point that he does not have to be perfect in order to function. We can tell from this that comic artist Berkeley Breathed, the creator of the comic, is distressed with the over-usage of CGI.

Now, take a look at this news:

Coming Soon indicates a film starring Opus is in the works with a release date set for December 19, 2008. Opus the penguin first appeared in the early 1980s in the satiric daily comic strip “Bloom County”, then in the Sunday-only strip “Outland”, and now in his own eponymously titled newspaper strip. The film will be written and directed by “Bloom County's” comic artist Berkeley Breathed (rhymes with "method"). The movie is also mentioned at Market Wire, which refers to other Weinstein Company future releases such as a “Hoodwinked” sequel known as “Hood vs. Evil.”

Ignoring the horrid little piece of news about the “Hoodwinked” sequel, it looks like an Opus movie is still in the works. With Berkeley Breathed at the helm, we can probably bet that this will be a 2D animated project, which seems perfectly reasonable. Years ago, when I first heard about it, it was set to be a 3D project, but then got canned. So here it is again, and I’m assuming it’s going to be a 2D project. Could be good, could be bad, no matter what format it’s in. But to get an idea of what the project is about, one has to look on the Coming Soon website and look at the title: “Opus: The Last Christmas.”

Ugh. I’m sorry, but the concept of having a Christmas special based on this material just makes me flinch. We already have one too many Christmas specials, most of which are retread, poorly clichéd and you name it. I can’t count the many times I’ve seen or heard of a Christmas special with a bad guy in it whose purpose of being is to destroy Christmas just because he can. Furthermore, when and if this project turns out to be a stink bomb, the 3D lovers will say it stank because it was in 2D. Sad, just sad.

Forgiving Was The Most Important Part

Continuing along the vein of things I’ve done with my girlfriend over the weekend, here comes the 10th annual celebration of the International Forgiveness Day, a day where people get together and honor those who have forgiven. Three awards were given at this ceremony to honor people who were forgiving this year and I went not just because of the forgiveness factor, which I felt that the group I went with really needed to hear, but because one of the people being awarded there was Michael Berg.

I’d first heard about this guy when I read about his son several years ago. Nicholas Berg was one of the many American citizens in Iraq who was captured and beheaded in front of a video camera by Islamofascists. I saw the video myself and I watched him as he was brutally slain. The terrorists said it was in response to the humiliated prisoners at Abu Ghraib. It was clear to me then that they were full of s*** and that we were dealing with an enemy that couldn’t be reasoned with. Nicholas Berg, according to some reports, thought that anyone could be reasoned with. It was that attitude that killed him. But Michael Berg got something else out of the experience.

Last night, I was interested in hearing his story. The last thing I wanted to hear though was the far left wing attitude that he had. He was a hippie who was flamingly anti-war and I listened to his story of how he forgave the men who killed his son. Personally, I think that’s amazing. If it were my son, I don’t know if I would ever be able to forgive fully. And if I were, I know I could never forget. I think though that this guy took it a little far though saying that he mourned the death of Al-Zarqawi like he would any other human being. I would find it tragic that someone had to die, I don’t like killing, I don’t like to think about it, but whether or not I consider it necessary is another thing. I think it sad that we have to kill people in this war, but I thank God every day that people like Al-Zarqawi are burning in hell so that we can preserve some life for those people who else he could have killed by now and even years from now. Forgiving for what a murderer does is necessary and in some cases incredible, but responding to such acts by going after the man responsible for them is not revenge. It’s crime and punishment. But I don’t think this guy would think that way. After all, he blamed George W. Bush for the death of his son. He protested the Vietnam War, the Gulf War and the current Iraq War (not saying that there’s anything wrong with protesting the Vietnam War.) However this does bring me to another point: I know that people like him don’t like war under any circumstances, but where was he in the Clinton era when Billy boy bombed drug farms and helped out in Kosovo? Under his logic, such things should be evil, right? But he didn’t protest because it’s only a problem when it happens under a Republican administration. In short, it was great that he forgave, but everything else about his philosophy I can’t agree with.

Michael was not the first to be awarded though. A woman named Nadia McCaffrey was up first. Her story was that she too lost her son in the Iraq war. He went as a soldier who fought the war for honor, but given his mother’s political orientation I doubt he agreed with it. Nadia was another tremendously anti-war parent who was not hiding it at this event. It became pretty clear to me that this was not just a forgiveness celebration, it was also a political rally that was trying to tell me that the people I voted for are the bad guys and not the enemies of their country. I didn’t come there for that, especially considering that we were at Dominican University, a school which struck me as being fairly conservative. But hey, a conservative college in San Rafael? Who am I kidding? Nadia still forgave the people who killed her son though, and that was what I found to be most important.

But what made the evening the most worth it was the final two people who were awarded: Kai-Leigh Harriott and her mother Tonya David. Kai-Leigh is now six years old, paralyzed from the waist down by a stray bullet when she was three years old. The most recuperation that she could possibly get is probably over by now and she goes around in a manual wheelchair. But what makes her so special, you ask? The fact that at age six, she was able to forgive the man who paralyzed her. That is amazing. She will probably never be able to walk, run, play as many games as she could before, but she forgave because it was the right thing to do. You can’t live your life in hatred or regret. Forgiving will heal the most. And of course, this is the philosophy that the girl’s mother has put on her, but I still think we can learn a lot from that six year old girl.

All in all, I give the evening a 6 out of 10. I don’t know if I’ll be returning next year though.

Spirit West Coast 2006

This weekend, I was a proud visitor of Spirit West Coast, an annual concert for fans of Christian music where they can listen to the top Christian music artists and people who are famous for singing about how much they love God. And yes, believe it or not, you can become popular in mainstream for singing Christian music. I find that fact alone amazing myself, but here it is. There were only three of us on the trip as opposed to the planned five people. One guy couldn’t make it due to summer school and another girl was getting carsick way too easily, so she was out. It was one nice little carpool with me, my girlfriend and a kind young woman from her prayer group who was driving. It took us about 2.5 hours to drive there and, much to my surprise, they allowed video cameras into this event so I’ll be able to create a nice little video from all this.

First off, I’ll say that I didn’t expect the event to be like the county fair, but it was. Along with the stages for the bands, there were plenty of food stands and things of the like. Even though I brought along some drinks, I still overdosed on the junk food at the stands. We set up our blankets and stuff near the main stage and left them there to walk around. I’m still kind of amazed that I left my backpack there and it was completely untouched by anyone else, but hey, it was a Christian event. We got to see a lot of cool stands there, aside from the clothing stands even. Kduvfm.com is a radio station which I now think I just have to give a listen after hearing what they had at their booth. And we also passed by the funniest thing at the stands. You know how there’s those Dance Dance Revolution clones, like the one I asked for for my birthday? Well, there was one of those for sale here, except it was more expensive, it was for the computer errand it played all Christian music. I kid you not, it was a Christian music version of DDR. Not that I don’t like Christian music of course, I went to a Christian music concert, but somehow I find that amusing.

Bands we saw there: First band we saw was Barlowgirl: a band with three pretty girls singing somewhat average Christian music. My girlfriend really likes them though. I did find David Crowder Band to be enjoyable. They warmed up their instruments by playing the Chicken Dance. Very funny. And the last band of the evening, the guys who were actually being featured at the event that evening, the Newsboys rocked out! But that wasn’t really what made the evening special. What made it special was cuddling with the lady under blankets on that lawn to keep warm.

Other than the music, what made a real impact were the speakers. Michael Franzese was an amazing storyteller, a man who was born into one of the biggest mafia families in the United States, raised in a blind faith religious family, become one of the most powerful thugs on the street…But what really saved his soul was not the years he spent in prison to pay for his crimes. What saved him was discovering Christ. Now he tours the country telling his inspirational story to people everywhere and proving that some people really can change their ways. If God can forgive a mafia don and save his soul, then anyone can be saved. Although I still think if they want that, they’ll have to be willing. I’m gonna check out his book “Blood Covenant” when I can, because I swear, the guy’s story had Oscar written all over it.

Comedian Mike Williams was one of the cleanest comics anyone could ever meet. At his website, you’ll be able to see a low quality copy of the shticks he does at various locations. Also one of the funniest live comedians I’ve seen in a while. On top of that, he’s another man who had been saved as well. He lived in a family that was dangerously into drugs and crime and things like that until his mom gave him away for adoption to a family she knew would raise him in a different atmosphere. Once again, folks: God saves.

All in all, the experience was one to remember and both my girlfriend and I can only imagine going there next year to see Stephen Curtis Chapman rock everyone’s socks off…If he shows there next year, that is. On the way home, as I lay with her in the backseat of the car, I thought this was one of the best weekends I could ever have and I hope to have more such experiences with her in the future. If this is being in love, then I can’t wait to explore it more.

And I saved one of the best parts for last: the funniest story happened when I spent the night in her parents’ apartment. I finally got home to bed in their guest room at about 3:30 AM on Sunday morning. After I passed out for a little while I awoke at 4:15 and turned to see that her stepfather had, for some odd reason, decided to join me in bed. He gave me that comical bug-eyed look that he sometimes gives and because of my tiredness, I couldn’t quite yet grasp the weirdness of the situation. But here’s how the basic dialogue went between us:

Him: Hey
Me: Hey
Him: How’s it going?
Me: Fine
Him: The kids got home OK?
Me: Yeah, the girls are downstairs.
Him: Where’s James?
Me: I’m sleeping up here.
Him: I thought James was going to sleep here.
Me: Yeah, the girls are going downstairs, I’m up here.
Him: (Finally realizing who he’s talking to, he jumps out of bed.) JAMES!
Me: Yeah. (We both laugh)

Apparently, he thought I was his wife. I guess I look like her at around 4:15 in the morning under covers, even with a beard. I must remedy that somehow. But seriously, after he left, I spent the next several minutes laughing to myself trying to make sense of the situation. Maybe his wife kicked him out of bed for some reason. It wasn’t until the next evening at the dinner table when my girlfriend was over at my house for dinner that I figured out exactly what happened. His wife, her mom, had left their bed because of his snoring and gone to sleep in her office. He woke up and started looking for her, saw someone under the covers in the guest room and assumed it was her. Priceless.

Wow, what crazy, funny weekend I had.

Flowers for Potter

Following the Potter-related news from a few days ago, here’s another charming report on the future of the Harry Potter book series in which it seems the hero might just…die.

Two best-selling authors have asked the best-selling author of all not to kill off the central character of her stories. John Irving (The World According to Garp) and Stephen King (Carrie) told a news conference in New York Tuesday that they had written to J.K. Rowling asking her not to kill Harry Potter in the final book of her series about the boy wizard. (Each of her Harry Potter tales has been or will be made into a motion picture. She has indicated that several key characters will die in her final Potter book, which she is currently writing.) Referring to a scene in Sir Arthur Conan Doyle's The Final Problem, in which Doyle killed off his famous detective, Sherlock Holmes, King told reporters, "I don't want [Harry] to go over the Reichenbach Falls." Irving commented, "My fingers are crossed for Harry." (If history is any indication, there may still be hope for Harry even if Rowling does kill him off. The public was so outraged after Doyle sent Holmes to his death that it mounted a letter-writing campaign that resulted in the author's resurrection of Holmes.)

Has J. K. Rowling actually said anything to the effect of killing off Harry? Or is this just a rumor? Was that an earthquake that just hit me? Wow, that was weird.

Low Fidel-ity

This article just in from the “My girlfriend sent this to me” news agency, it looks like Fidel “Catastrophe” Castro ain’t feeling too good lately. Yunno, he might have, like, a FATAL ILLNESS or something like that which could very well end his life. The kind of thing that comes along when we all get too old, actually. Anyhoo, it comes as no surprise that what brings our boy Castro great pain, brings Cuban immigrants great joy:

CORAL GABLES, Fla. (AP) The calls to Radio Mambi came from as far away as Europe: Cuban exiles were euphoric over Fidel Castro's illness and wanted to share their joy with the AM station known as the voice of Miami's Cuban community.

Now, I seem to remember that Pat Robertson or Jerry Folwell or some televangelist from the land of God and Gettin’ Richsaid something about Yassir Arafat dying a while ago. They said that the reason Arafat was dying was because he was a deadly terrorist who was now feeling the wrath of God for his sins. But before we in the Christian world envision the almighty in a headband and a wifebeater saying “I kill Communists just for fun,” let us not forge that these sorts deadly illnesses come with old age. Not that it’s not part of God’s plan for him, but I don’t see much of anything spectacular of an old man dying. I just thank God that it’s one last creep we’ll never have to deal with anymore. But before we officially brand this as the end of his days, let’s read the article a bit more.

Disregarding the official reports from Cuba, many of Radio Mambi's listeners were ready Tuesday to declare Castro dead, 47 years after he took power. Some pointed to Castro's unprecedented handover to his brother Raul as evidence that he is either already gone or nearly so, and they excitedly planned to go home.

``I don't care if they say how he died. I'm already celebrating and I have my suitcases ready for me to go,'' one unidentified caller told Radio Mambi, adding that she was skipping work to revel in the news.

OK, first let me comment on this bit: Do NOT rejoice too soon, whatever you do. One reason I say this is that I do not know Castro’s brother. As far as I know, he could turn out to be another vicious Communist dictator like his brother was. And the other reason, well, let’s read a bit more.

The calls echoed the opinions heard on Miami's streets. Many of Miami-Dade County's 800,000 Cuban-Americans have awaited Castro's demise. Many Cuban-Americans view him as a ruthless dictator who forced them, their parents or grandparents from their home after he seized power in a revolution in 1959.

Castro issued a statement Tuesday night saying the operation was serious but that his condition was ``stable'' and that ``as for my spirits, I feel perfectly fine.'' The statement, read on Cuba's state-run television, did not provide any details about his intestinal illness, which was first announced Monday.

That’s correct, folks. The man could still very much be alive for a little while longer. I know he was a cretin for what he did, I know he’s got tons of blood on his hands, but if he’s not quite dead yet then don’t rejoice too soon. Just wait a little bit longer, see what happens, and when he does pass away and his brother has had some time in power, take the time to test the water, and if you like it and want to go home, you can. But whatever you do, don’t rush into this. If you don’t want to see the same kind of oppression as before, then give this some time.

Cuban-Americans in Miami said the statement sounded like government propaganda.

Cuban-Americans in Miami said the statement sounded like government propaganda.

``They know we are celebrating over here. They are just saying that. They are covering up the truth because they can't take an uproar of people within the island,'' said Cari Gonzalez, 26, whose parents came from Cuba in 1980.

Mirta Sotolongo, 54, said the statement was essentially meaningless.

``He's not going to return to power. I consider that he's dead and if he's not dead today, he will be dead tomorrow and if not, his days are still numbered,'' she said.

He won’t return? Did he actually say that and I missed it, or what? Once again, his brother is in power and there still may be trouble. And so, as you probably have guessed, the article goes on like this, but only up until this part which I found agreeable:

At Radio Mambi, the nine telephone lines that host Lourdes D'Kendall monitored Tuesday rang nonstop. She could do nothing else but take call after call each from an anti-Castrist eager to share their happiness over his reported illness, and their hopes for quick confirmation of his death.

D'Kendall tried to dispel unconfirmed information. Speaking in an even pace, she also tried to soothe the emotions of her audience.

``We have every right to celebrate. ... But we must be very careful not to commit any mistake,'' she said. ``We are very impassioned, but we must set passion aside.''

THANK you. I couldn’t agree more. And on that note, I have nothing else to add. Except this: in the case that Cuba becomes a better place to live under Raul Castro, which is highly unlikely in my opinion, the Cuban-Americans can move home as they please and the United States will actually save a lot of money. Assuming that many of these people who were exiled are not legal immigrants, we can assume that our economy will not be drained by social services to those who can’t pay it back. It’s a win-win situation, but it’s not so likely to happen, like I said. There’s also the possibility of Cubans moving back before we can truly tell if the state of the country will be better, in which case our economy will save money and the Cubans will be miserable again, which according to some reports may not happen either. A win-lose situation, in other words. Then there’s the third option which I can conceive of in which Cuba remains a mess, the immigrants stay here and our economy continues to drain unless they gain legal status. A lose-lose situation, but on the plus side we won’t have to feel so bad for them moving back to their country.

One caller said: ``Never have I wished for the death of anyone. But I hope he suffers in a vegetative state.''

D'Kendall, who left Cuba more than 40 years ago as a child, said she can understand their emotions.

``They believe he's dead because this is what they have been waiting for a long time,'' she said.

And I hope that only the best can come of this. But I’m just being optimistic, of course.