Frightfest

It's Halloween, folks. Time to go mooching for candy at neighbor's houses, get wasted at parties or stay at home watching scary movie marathons. Me, I'll be curled up in the attic watching "Killer Klowns from Outer Space" and "Return of the Living Dead 5"...in the dark presumably with no one around.

In the meantime, I'll hand out this link which is guaranteed to make you howl tonight. Tales of gruesome happenings, undiscovered corpses, psychopathic killers, wild insects, freak accidents and spirits from beyond the grave. Some are actually very true, while others are strictly to make your eyes widen with fear. But which are which? You be the judge.

http://www.snopes.com/horrors/

Game Time

Considering that I think my blogging rate has gone up exponentially lately, I'll post this little game to truly see how many people read my blog. The rules of the game are as follows: YOU, the reader, post a comment saying anything you wish (as long as it isn't inflammatory) and make sure you let me know who you are in relation to me. Friend, Family, Net dweeb, whomever. In return, I will answer The following six questions in regards to how I feel about you:

1. I'll respond with something random about you
2. I'll tell you what song/movie reminds me of you.
3. I'll say something that only makes sense to you and me.
4. I'll tell you my first/clearest memory of you.
5. I'll tell you what animal you remind me of.
6. I'll ask you something that I've always wondered about you.

The catch is this: If you are an owner of a blogsite or Livejournal, you must repeat this game and answer the questions with whomever responds and tell them to do the same and so on and so forth.

All right, let the games begin! Ready, set, post!

UniSmurf

And now for some older news that will one day wind up in the historical trivia books in the “Completely Random” section:

It's just another smurfy day in Smurf Village. The perpertually perky blue beings frolic around the fire, holding hands and singing that "tra-la-la-la-la-la" tune as bluebirds flutter by and rabbits hop around.

A regular Smurftopia.

But then the bombs come.

Hundreds of them raining down from warplanes in the sky, wiping out the mushroom-shaped abodes. Amid the fiery explosions, Smurfette is killed. Papa Smurf disappears. As the smoke clears, only an orphaned Baby Smurf remains, sobbing among the corpses.

But…But who would do such a horrible thing like this?

No, this is not some pipe dream of Gargamel. The Smurfocide was instead perpetuated by the United Nations Children's Fund, or UNICEF.

But why? Why, I tell you?

UNICEF's Belgian office is using the Smurfs as the centerpiece of a new fundraising initiative to shock viewers into donating money to help children in war-torn regions. The agency also hopes to rehabilitate former child soldiers in Burundi.

"The idea of using familiar, reassuring childhood icons in a decidedly dangerous context was intended to bring home to the public the horrendous nature of this theft of children's rights," says UNICEF's Gaelle Buasson.

How dare they do this to the Smurfs. DAMN YOU UNICEEEEFFFFF!

"We could have shown real-live images of children wounded in Iraq, Palestine or other places. But we refused this option because they would not respect the dignity and rights of the depicted children...So we decided to use 'fictive' cartoon images."

Dubbed the first adults-only version of The Smurfs, UNICEF's 30-second 'toon ends with the tagline: "Don't let war affect the lives of children."

After coming up with the idea for the Smurfogeddon, UNICEF obtained permission to create the short from IMPS, which took over control of the critters after the death of their creator, the Belgian cartoonist Peyo. The clip was previewed on Belgian TV last week during evening newscasts.

According to London's Daily Telegraph, the spot evoked mixed emotions from viewers--including shock from children who accidentally caught the spot.

You’re damn right about mixed emotions. I can’t for the life of me figure out if this news is just sad or very funny in a dark, dark way. Oh yeah, and kids watching this… It’s reasons like this I bask in our censorship programs.

But the clip received a thumbs up from the official Smurf fan club. "I think it will wake up some people. It is so un-Smurf-like, it might get people to think," a spokesman told the Telegraph.

Fans are usually the kind of people who get up and bear arms when their childhood heroes are pissed all over by “the man.” I should know. Been there, done that. 20 bucks says this guy’s membership at the Smurf fan club ceases to exist.

Julie Lamoureux, account director for Publicis, the ad agency that created the campaign, says the original concept included even more graphic imagery of weapons of mass Smurfstruction.

"We wanted something that was real war--Smurfs losing arms, or a Smurf losing a head--but they said no," she told the Telegraph.

Well at least it wasn’t THAT bad.

The clip will begin airing regularly next week in Belgium, but only after 9 p.m., and run through April. UNICEF says response has been so strong that the short could soon be seen in Europe, Latin America and Australia with the stipulations that it must air after 7 p.m. local time, it can only be aired with information explaining the clip, and it cannot be put on the Internet. There are no current plans to broadcast the clip in the U.S.

For Stateside fans, and those who prefer their Smurfs intact, a 3-D, CGI-animated Smurfs feature film will bow in theaters in 2008. The extravaganza from Paramount's Nickelodeon Movies will be the first in a planned trilogy.

Off Topic Note: Even as a person who was never so much a fan of the Smurfs but respects them nonetheless as a cultural icon, I’d just like to say that I prefer my Smurfs intact on 2D animation cels drawn on the animation tables of the Hanna-Barbera company, not on computers in the company that made movies like “Rugrats Go Wild.” Trust me, if Nickelodeon sucks enough to make straight to video sequels like “Charlotte’s Web 2,” then do we need a Smurf movie with gallons of slime, burp and fart humor and poorly written songs? I don’t think so, but we can probably expect that from them.

Unfortunately, this is the best copy of the video I could come up with so far:
http://video.vrtnieuws.net/nieuwsnet_master/versie2/nieuws/details/051004Unicef/N_051004_unicef_oorlogskinderen-20051004-132858-HB.wmv

Warning: 40 seconds into the video and you can see the Ad in Belgian after looking at a group of kids who have had their limbs blown off. That, and it’s only at less than one frame a second. Once again: sick or darkly funny? I report, you decide.

Listen to Andrew

The other day, I was at my church attending the first service. While there, I ran into an old friend of mine, a Mr. Andrew Stanton. And just so you guys know, I mean THIS Andrew Stanton who works at Pixar Animation and does a lot of the heavy work there. He was appearing much more raggedy and unshaven than he is in that picture at the IMDB site. In fact, I didn’t exactly recognize him at first until he acknowledged me. Just to be friendly, I approached him after the service, I told him “I see your disguise is working well,” and he, indicating my beard, said “So is yours.”

So why do I bring this up? Oh a number of reasons. First off, we covered some stuff I’d heard about Pixar. According to him, the rumor about Pixar opening up a 2D studio was only a rumor (although, Pixar employees did buy some of the desks that Disney was throwing out after they shut down their 2D animation studios), the movie “The Incredibles” was never meant to be made in 2D (something which the IMDB says in it’s trivia section under “The Incredibles” and he never actually got to see my video of the Mexico Trip, but I still gave him the link to my website. But most importantly of all, I learned this: Andrew does not like the idea of 2D animation taking over every animation project.

Let me elaborate: Andrew and a bunch of other big-named folks at Pixar, John Lasseter, Peter Docter, the late Joe Ranft, the whole Magnificent Seven or Dirty Dozen, however many people created a revolution in the movie industry by making “Toy Story,” the first animated film ever to be done completely by computer. They have had one monstrous hit after another and Andrew even wrote and directed “Finding Nemo,” which is, I’ve heard, the highest grossing animated movie, just above “The Lion King.” Now he’s telling me that he doesn’t like 3D taking over the entire animation industry and you know what? That’s exactly what I’ve been trying to say!

Not all animated movies can be made in 3D. reread that last sentence until it burns into your pupils. Are you reading this, Bob Iger and the Disney staff? Are you paying attention, Katzenberg, Dreamworks Animation and PDI? Listen to what Andrew Stanton has to say.

Snakey Go Boom

If the last post about animals wasn’t enough to stomach, here’s a story from the “Evil, right-wing biased Fox News” about a python that couldn’t stomach an alligator.

MIAMI, Fla. — Alligators have clashed with nonnative pythons before in Everglades National Park. But when a 6-foot gator tangled with a 13-foot python recently, the result wasn't pretty.

The snake apparently tried to swallow the gator whole — and then exploded. Scientists stumbled upon the gory remains last week.

The species have battled with increasing frequency — scientists have documented four encounters in the last three years. The encroachment of Burmese pythons into the Everglades could threaten an $8 billion restoration project and endanger smaller species, said Frank Mazzotti, a University of Florida wildlife professor.

The gators have had to share their territory with a python population that has swelled over the past 20 years after owners dropped off pythons they no longer wanted in the Everglades. The Asian snakes have thrived in the wet, hot climate.

"Encounters like that are almost never seen in the wild. ... And we here are, it's happened for the fourth time," Mazzotti said. In the other cases, the alligator won or the battle was an apparent draw.

"They were probably evenly matched in size," Mazzotti said of the latest battle. "If the python got a good grip on the alligator before the alligator got a good grip on him, he could win."

And here we have a prime example of natural selection. But hey, maybe the python wouldn’t have tangled with the alligator if he was that 20 footer they found in New Orleans.

It’s Evolution, Baby!

One of these days, bestiality lovers might just have to consider condoms.

Scotland - Are human-animal hybrids still a matter of Greek mythology? Members of the Animal Procedures Committee (APC) are afraid this is no longer the case. APC claims that the cabinet has left open possibilities for the development of a "chimera". This, apparently, is the name of the animal you would get by combining human genes with those of a dog. Animal hybrids have been created before using goat and sheep. APC fears that, since we as humans are a member of the animal kingdom, we could possibly create a human-animal hybrid. They are pushing the Home Office to consider passing legislation against chimeras.

Personally, I think it would be kinda neat to have human-animal hybrids, but what purpose could that possibly serve?

Animated Blasphemy

Looks like the latest company that promises to bring us holiday cheer several months ahead of time is DreamWorks

10/05/2005: "Penguins rundown"

Steamin' hot off the DreamWorks Animation press comes the following synopsis for The Madagascar Penguins in A Christmas Caper the short feature playing with this Friday's release of Wallace and Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit and directed by none other than Beauty and the Beast's Gary Trousdale:

THE MADAGASCAR PENGUINS IN A CHRISTMAS CAPER

Read the article if you want the scoop on the plot, but I have a separate point to make. I go down the hall at the mall and look into stores, only to notice that some stores like to sell their holiday trinkets a heck of a lot too early. The American Greetings store, for example, sells it’s tree ornaments as early as July and at Costco you can get those dopey Rudolph ornaments I think almost any time of the year. Aside from that, I can recall numerous occasions in which I’ve turned on the television to watch my favorite and not so favorite shows as they decided to show their Christmas episodes pretty much any time of the year that it suits them. Cartoon Network, for example, celebrates “Christmas in July” by running a long block of Christmas cartoons in July.

So I ask you: Do you have any idea why I’ve ready for Christmas to over by the time it comes for so years in my life? It’s because I’m treated to fakey Christmas crap all year round. Now I’m going to go see “Wallace and Gromit: Curse of the Were-Rabbit,” a movie that I’ve been anticipating for years now, and I’m going to be forced to watch six minutes of a Christmas special in the middle of October. You see how they do me? Buggers.

By golly, if I ever make a Christmas movie or special, I’m waiting until the right time to show it. Besides, you don’t see them doing this to Halloween specials do you? Wonder why.

Noticed

Today, I noticed something new. Someone actually posted a comment on what I wrote here. Since I have never gotten a comment before posted on my stuff, I hardly check for them but since this person was kind enough to be my first poster, I thought I might bring what they said up here:

Anonymous said...

Very Nice. I am really impressed with the great blog you have here! I was wondering how long you have been doing this?I have a Nano-Technology Energy Patch site/blog. It has some simply amazing testimonials regarding the unique technology that is good for those from 10-110. Just see if you can believe this Nano-Technology Energy Patch related stuff. Imagine a 12 year old girl weighing less than 100 lbs establishing the World Squat record of 275 lbs not once but 3 times !How about an 83 Yr Old Lady that could not stand and had to be carried back and forth to the bathroom and on a Thursday evening in 15 minutes she was not only able to stand, but also walked across the room just holding onto her daughter's arm. The next night, she and her daughter were arm wrestling and for several minutes were locked in the center position. Her daughter the next day said "That was my mom's WEAK arm" :-)Come and check out our LifeWave Energy Patch site/blog if you are interested in getting more energy and or sleeping better than you have in years, and I think you will be very impressed also :-)

Thank you sir, but I already drink coffee and take sleeping pills when I have these problems. Oh and by the way, I’ve only been blogging for over a year.

Sayonara

Eisner era at Disney ends

After 21 years at the helm, Michael Eisner will step down as chief executive of The Walt Disney Company today. Reports from around the web look at his legacy:
"Just days before exiting his post as CEO of the Walt Disney Co., Michael Eisner... called his 21 years at Disney "the most gratifying experience in my life. The culture of the company, the ethic, the assets, the enthusiasm were there when I arrived in 1984, and I'm proud as I leave to see that they are still there" (The Hollywood Reporter).

Seeya later, Eisner. Goodbye, Adios, au revoir, off weiner shed